My soul into yours

Will you find me?

I'm such a crap. I don't deserve this..

Kurapika was still waiting in his hotel room with Melody. They couldn't go away because that was the end of the York Shin city's auctions. They had to wait for the ambulance to come. Melody was injured and needed to be healed. After the fight, Kurapika could heal himself just before the Spiders left, his eyes were scarlet at this moment so he could use his other nen abilities. But then they started being blue again and it was to late to help Melody. M. Nostrad was a great man. He accepted to call a second ambulance. The first one was for Neon, and it was already very dangerous and risky. And right now even if all of that was over it could be a danger anyway. But the blonde boy was still overthinking about what just happened.

It's all my fault.. Melody came to help and I couldn't even heal her. She tried to help me and I fucked up as always..

Kurapika was mad at himself, of course, Melody could hear it through his heart. But she didn't say anything, she wanted to wait a little bit to see if he could start forgiving himself by his own. But why was he so ashamed? When the Phantom Troop tried to escape, he followed them without thinking any second about Melody. The hate, the anger he felt for them was never-ending. Sometimes, it could get him at a point that none of his friends, even a lover, could hope that he was going to listen to their words. He finally met the Troupe. He couldn't give up. But he made a mistake and he felt terribly guilty about what he did. He kept apologize during an hour to his co-worker, who was also his friend. But Melody knew that he was really sorry, she couldn't refuse his apologies. Actually, she was more worried about Kurapika than herself. Yeah, after hearing the Sonata of Darkness, she couldn't be afraid of anything else. She ran to Kurapika's place, he was fighting with 4 members of the Spiders. As she started playing the flute, one of the 4 ennemies came over her and broke her arms, she couldn't play anymore. That has been a part of why Kurapika became this mad against them. And also why he felt this guilty. It meant that she couldn't use her nen to play music before a while.

Fuck! what did I do? My dear god what did I do

He hold his breath, and all of a sudden in a rush of guilt :

- Melody, again, I'm so..

- Kurapika. What did I said? She was talking with a deep calming voice.

- I know but..

- Yes you know. So why are you still apologizing. I said I wasn't mad, Kurapika. Look! I feel way better now! Stop thinking about what you couldn't do and focus on what you can do right now. Except of being sorry, of course, haha!

- Melody I don't know what to say about your kindness. But I will do my best to make you feel better. The blonde seemed to understand.

- That's why I want to hear! So now stop thinking about me and focus on yourself. By the way Kurapika..

- Yes?

- Focusing on yourself doesn't mean being selfish. Stop feeling guilty about that too. Because you're not. Promise? She asked.

There was a 6 seconds silence before he asked.

- Promise. I will try. He knew he couldn't get rid of that feeling anyway.

- Yas! I'll be fine by my own. Would you go to see the boss and tell him that i'm feeling better now?

- Of course I will, stay safe, Melody!

He went outside the hotel room and walked in the corridors. The long, huge corridors. Of course, it was a five stars hotel. He was working for the mafia after all. The lights weren't totally on, because of the fights that broke them. The corridors were as dark as his feelings. Anger. Anger. Anger. But what gave him hope was that Neon could get the scarlet eyes of his clan members. His dears eyes. His cherished eyes that he could die for. Nostrad and her knew about it and promised to keep it secret. A mafia guy who worked for the family was there with some other men when they came to Kurapika with Melody. He was at the phone with the boss before he dies. He didn't know what scared him the most.. the four powerful, strong, and violent members of the Phantom Troop, or the anger he could see in the blonde's eyes? While seeing them, he couldn't say anything than "scarlet.. he has a scarlet anger." Neon said to the young man that she would keep the eyes safe for him. Then, Kurapika broke in tears. He couldn't say what emotions he felt at this moment. It was too fast. Too fast for his heart. Too blurry. In one hand, he couldn't describe the pleasure these eyes brought him. The first scarlet eyes of his life. Scarlet eyes that he's been looking for for years now. It was an indescribable wave of euphoria, deep down the darkest parts of his soul. Every day he kept hearing the screams of his dead family and friends in his mind. Every day he has been haunted by their spirits. But now, the screams faded a bit. He also felt so relieved that his boss didn't fired him. But in the other hand, he let the Troop go away. And he couldn't forgive himself. But Kurapika have always been so strict when it came to him. What could he be doing. It was not like he needed someone in his life to manage him. Of course he had friends that helped him a lot. But he always thought that he has to be able to take care of himself better than everyone could ever do. But could he really do it..? Anyway, he has something else to care about. He couldn't let these thoughts running through his mind. He just... couldn't. He was working for the mafia now. Isn't it? The last Kuruta clan survivor, what a nickname. What a status. Kurapika would've loved to never be able to pronounce these words. He would've loved to stay in the forest and spend his days with Pairo. Finding a cure for his eyes. Dreaming about the outside world and its treasures.

But now he was inside of the world he has been dreaming about during all of these years with his dead friend. His dead brother. Pairo. A dream right... it was more like a nightmare. But the blonde wanted to make it a dream world. His dream world. In which he could avenge his dear family. He decided to take his heavy chains off of his mind and use them against the Phantom Troop. Yes. The chains that had the weight of his anger. Of his pain, anguish and sorrow. He could make his emotions a substance. His own chains. No matter what it would cost. No matter what...

*beep-beep*

Who was it? At this hour? Kurapika took his phone, he didn't even look the phone number and directly answered.

- Moshi Moshi?

After 2 seconds, he couldn't even see it, and nobody could either with his contact lenses. But his eyes became red... no. One of the seven most beautiful, gorgeous colours in this world. Scarlet.

Only the corridors darkness could assist to this flood of emotions in Kurapika's heart. Only the corridors emptiness could assist to Kurapika's river of tears.

He whispered:

"-Leorio?"