(Tua oc) Tales From a Time Traveling Assassin

Aliens are Real

"If you are reading or listening to this document, I Sir Reginald Hargreeves have died. I give joint custody of Dr. Phinneus Pogo to Numbers One and Three. I give Grace to Number Two. I give the mansion  to all my children mostly Number One. Number Four gets the mausoleum. Lastly in the case that Number Five and Eight return as children (even physically) I give full custody to Number Two. I would also like to mention that I have a hotel on Erie St. where all my deepest enemies live that now belongs to Number One. All my assets shall be split equally. I can time travel. I finally shall mention that aliens are going to invade the planet and take you to Number One's hotel."

Pogo handed us all labeled boxes that had our checks, paperwork and keys. Mine said in cursive Number Eight.

"What the hell was that" Klaus screeched "the old man has lost the last of his marbles"

"No clue" I responded "that felt like a slap in the face"

"No shit" 

"What the fuck" Diego said staring at the ceiling 

"I have the mausoleum"

"When did we get a mausoleum" Luther asked

"Shit" I muttered then Diego turned to Five and I smiling 

"I have custody of you two now" 

"Ok not the weirdest thing today" I said then I grabbed my box and blinked to the living area and cuddled Mr. Pennycrumb and fell asleep. I woke up in my bed and turned to see Mr. Pennycrumb. When I got up I looked at  my desk to see some newspaper. When I picked it up it said April 2nd 2019 I smiled then blinked downstairs and walked outside knowing I looked like shit. I was walking for about ten minutes when I seen a familiar blue light I turned to see a kind of younger Five and I from the day we time traveled the first time.

"Shit" the three of us said in unison 

All four of us where on opposite sides of the room. We had Allison rumor us so we couldn't get paradox psychosis. Five and I explained the past forty five years to them afterwards. We knew the difference between the versions of me because of my hand tattoos and young me drew a mustache on young Five in sharpie for our convenience. 

"I have to go you should see me again in less then a day" older Five said then he blinked outside with a briefcase 

"Shit" I muttered leaning back in the chair I was sitting in.

"What's wrong" young me asked

"He's time traveling"

"What" young Five asked
"We made a deal to make it easier on us your to young to understand"

I set up another briefcase and sent them back to 2002.

"Thank you for this" Young Five said

"No problem please listen to the old man even though he is a dickwad I am doing this for your safety. The future is shit but it is best that you grow up with your family and leave when you get older and go to college. Hopefully you can end up at least a little less fucked up then you did in the original timeline. Now good luck and take these" I handed them two labeled envelopes "adios and don't do that again" we hugged and said our goodbyes then I set the briefcase and went back to 2019. It may not be where I was supposed to be originally but it was where I belonged now. With my family in this very mangled timeline.

I chose to ignore dad's questionable warnings and instead write them down on some post it's and tape them to my closet wall just in case.

Tongue Tied by Grouplove
 

I blinked downstairs and held Mr. Pennycrumb then I started to hear some music and seen everybody come downstairs except Five because he was still time traveling, and Ben I honestly didn't know. He did this kind of often so I didn't think much of it so he probably was with his ghost buddies. I held Mr. Pennycrumb carefully and started to dance with him eventually  we all where dancing along and Klaus was singing the song out of tune. 

We where all happily celebrating the averted apocalypse as a family. How fucked up we ended up didn't matter anymore. We where a happy family dancing to a song not giving a shit about the outside world. I sat down Mr. Pennycrumb so he could walk around a little and started to dance with Klaus. We where smiling and laughing. Everybody was happy. Vanya was dancing in a corner with Allison and Diego was a few feet away dancing alone, Luther was across the room and Klaus and I where in the middle dancing together and singing along. Mr. Pennycrumb was on the couch playing with a stuffed bird.
 

Everybody was happy. Everybody was happy, I couldn't recall the last time this happened. When we where dancing to Tiffany I was masking the fact that I knew about the apocalypse. I wasn't genuinely happy then but now I was and it felt amazing. Then I hear a familiar sound, Five came back and my only reaction was,

"Hey Five come dance with us" and he did.

Now we where all here and dancing together not giving a shit about the world. Carefree and genuinely happy. The world wasn't ending and we could all be happy together and dance. We could all live normal lives again and be happy it felt amazing to get a chance to really breathe again. So I danced with Five and I smiled and laugh. I had no clue when I last seen him so happy. So this is what it felt like to be normal. Whatever that meant.