Under Blooming Trees

-The Second Letter-

Hey Kaashi,

So, I decided I should do this again. It's been like a month and a half. I don't cry as much anymore. I don't think my body will let me. Remember how I said Kuroo stopped by daily? Well, he's now my roommate so that's cool. It's nice not to be alone. We have Kenma come over on the weekends, we don't do much though other than play video games or go to the park. Sometimes we watch movies too. I went by the gym a few days ago and the team gave me your jacket. I remember you saying how upset you were because you left it in the locker room after practice one night. What else do I even say here? It's not like you're going to see this. I don't think that you would even care to read them anyway. Even if you were here I wouldn't show you because I'm embarrassed. I don't understand the way I feel, I'm so confused. I think I'm just going to be sad forever. I don't want to be, what I wanted forever was you Keiji. I wanted to be your forever because you were mine. I want to be your forever because you are mine.

Why you?

Why did it have to be you?

It could have been anyone else. I don't get it. Did I do something wrong? Do I deserve this? I wish you were here to help me understand what's happening. I get so lost in my own head sometimes I forget where I am or what I was doing. You shouldn't have died. You could have lived if I stopped you from leaving. Even if I stalled you for a bit longer you would be here by my side. I don't want to think about this anymore. I want to talk to you and hold you until the world falls away. I just want you back Keiji.

Please.

I want to tell you in person how much I love you. But I never will. I never can. I wasted my time. I was so careless. I miss you so much Keiji.

Wherever you are reading this from, I want to tell you that I love you more than I understand. I'm sorry you see me cry so much, but I can't help it.

You are my forever Akaashi Keiji.

Yours,

Bo