~DreamSMP Oneshots~

iT's YoU - Fundy x Eret

Obligatory A/N: Per the usual, I'm apologizing for my inconsistent schedule and writing style. Sorry about that to all my consistent readers, but just know that I see you guys in my notifications and it makes my day knowing that you got some enjoyment from my story, so shoutout to all of you guys <3

A/N part 2: First of all, lowercase is intended. Also, I feel like I need to say this chapter is very, very abstract and short, which is obviously a stark contrast to my usual content in this book. Just wanted my consistent readers to know in case they're reading because of the specific style of storytelling, etc. Thanks :)

TW: SELF HARM; SUICIDE

alistair clutched a warm, deep orange hoodie

he spun in mindless circles, eyes pressed shut

the world could not see him, for he could not see it

he smelled the fabric so firmly grasped in his hand, reminding him of the cinnamon dreams he'd had

and i can't tell you why
because my brain can't equate it

tears tapped the backs of his eyes, threatening him with the menace he couldn't resist

tell me your lies
because i just can't face it

his boy had left, left without the words they would share

the words they shared without truly even sharing them

the long looks at night

pain-snapped guilts, the unshared words

it's you

but alistair only clutched the warm hoodie, hoping, dreaming

i won't, i won't, i won't
cover the scars
i'll let 'em bleed

the nickel-scented bathroom

the bronze-plated tiles

the gold-tinted afternoons

his boy was gone, like the windy nights they passed

so my silence won't
be mistaken for peace

alistair wanted to say there weren't signs

there weren't signs that he wasn't staying

no signs

no stained blades in the bathroom

no empty pill bottles in the trash can

no rotting food in the cabinet

no unmade beds

no sleepless, teary nights

am i wrong for wanting us to make it?

alistair said no goodbyes to his boy, nor his boy to him

he couldn't bear to after, and couldn't know before

could it be that it's a lesson
that i never had to learn?

so he took the blades that stole his boy

the feeling of blood, the rush of pain

alistair said no goodbyes, not to his boy, not to the world

the world that so cruelly saw him

the cinnamon dreams he wished for

reality's curse

its symphony of despair

the abstraction of death's kiss, a blow no mere mortal dare comprehend

a deed of life, withdrawn from some, gifted from others

alistair said not goodbye to the world, yet the world said goodbye to he

it's you...