Seduce & Destroy

CHAPTER TEN (Mazikeen Demone)

I can't eat since I heard that Ryan's back. I force the food down my throat only to go throw everything back up later. To start eating again I must figure out what is he up to.

I changed my dress into black jean shorts and a blood-red T-shirt. I put on four-inch black heels and I was ready to go downstairs. Rose was sitting on the couch next to Rebby and they were playing with dolls and then I remembered I said I'll teach her today. Well, better piano then paperwork.

"Hello, Rose." – I said as I came into point of view.

"Hello, Miss Demone." – She smiled.

"Ready to study?" – I asked. She nodded and jumped/danced to the piano. Rebby stood up and went to search for her mother. Arian was at the couch and he was studying me when I moved. His eyes always followed me. Jack and Sofia were nowhere to be found, so is my Mom and Aaron. Alice was in the kitchen but quickly moved to one of the armchairs to listen.

I showed her which note is which and made her draw every one of them thirty times. She pouted.

"Well, did you think you will become Beethoven or Bach overnight? You need to recognize notes and you need to know which key to press by looking at it."- My voice was joking at first, but soft and serious at the end. She nodded and draw each note thirty times. I then showed her where to press and she repeated. And so the hours pass by until her mother came and shocked herself.

"Rose! It's ten-thirty! You should be in bed!" – She said, her voice raised.

"Sorry, mummy." – Rose said and looked down, but I saw the little devil smirking.

"To bed! Now!"

"Yes, mum." – She stood up, thanked me and went to bed.

"I am so sorry, Miss Demone, I –

"It's okay. I forgot to look at the clock and we just really got into playing. Stop saying sorry so much. You didn't do anything wrong." – I said to her. She nodded and went...somewhere.

"Come here, Kitten." – Arian said softly. I looked around and saw that we are alone. I walked to him and he adjusted me so my feet were in his lap and my head on the pillows on the other side. He took off my heels and started massaging my feet in slow motions.

"Why don't you eat? And you sleep less than usual." – I looked at him and I anticipated judging, but all I saw was a concern. So I decided to try and explain.

"When I get a problem like this I can't function normally. It's just I worry all the time if he's going to strike and that keeps me on edge. I lost my appetite and nightmares keep me awake at night. It's nothing special, I just need this to be over."

"Why are you afraid to feel? I mean you're guarded all the time and cold towards almost everyone. Why?" – He asked me. I looked down at my hands.

"You see my father wanted a soldier. And he made sure to make one out of me. He thought me how to keep my emotions hidden from the rest of the world and how to read other people emotions and use it against them. After a while, you become cold inside because it would be too much for you. You couldn't handle it. He started teaching me how to keep my emotions at bay when I was seven. When I started working for Rayan I needed that more than ever. If I didn't lock my emotions I would probably go crazy. I don't feel guilty or regret anything I've done when other people would probably die of guilt in my place. When Jack was born I was ten and by then I was a pro in not feeling, I completely stopped using my emotions. When he started talking and walking he was glued to me. That changed me a little bit. He brought back some of the emotions but not all. And not when he was so young. It was around when he was five that I finally let myself feel. I needed five years. When he was around three he was on the playground and he fell. He started crying and I stared blankly at him not effected at all. I watched him and all I could think about is 'he's so weak. Crying over just a scratch.' My father made sure that I'm completely emotionless and numb. My mother spent days and nights crying over what he did to me. It was actually quite useful so I'm not complaining. That's why when you first saw me I had a blank expression, you couldn't see a flicker of emotion on my face even if you wanted to. He really did make a soldier out of me." – I was whispering by the end. Arian drew me closer to his body until my head was tucked under his chin, his arms around me.