Shower Thoughts 101

3

- Back then having a horse was cheap and car was expensive but now having a car is cheap and having a horse is expensive.

- We put a watch in our phones to avoid looking at our watches and we put our phones into our watches to avoid looking at our phones.

- I wonder how many serial killers I walked past in my life, contemplated murdering me, and then was like "nah"

- You could meet your online friend in real life and not know it.

- I wonder if any epic dinosaur battles held place in the space in Earth occupied by my house millions of years ago.

- iPhone chargers should be called "Apple Juice"

- The most suspicious thing you can carry on a plane is multiple parachutes.

- Mars is populated entirely by robots.

- When a pregnant woman swims, they are now a human submarine.

- Things are not on fire, fire is on things.

- You don't fight fire with fire, you fight fire with water.

- If you step on someone's foot, they open their mouth, just like a garbage bin.

- The light of the moon is just the reflection of the sun do why don't vampires burn at night?

- You can't say "Do X after midnight" because technically, every second is after midnight, except 12 AM.

- You rarely get muscle ache in your tongue no matter how much you talk.

- A birth certificate can simply be called a baby receipt.

- When you're "stuck" in traffic, you aren't "stuck", you ARE traffic.

- The hairier the animal, the cute it is. The hairier the human, the scarier it is. 

- Common sense isn't common at all.

- I wonder how much money "Keep the change" costed me so far.

- Girls saying they're not like other girls are exactly like other girls saying they're not like other girls.

- To aliens, we're aliens.

- Auto correct should be renamed as auto assume.

- Necks are basically wrists for your head.

- A spider builds its home from its own body product. For humans to do the same, we'd have to poop bricks.

- A hospital is where most people die.

- In a hospital, you'll see people experiencing the worst, the best, the first or the last day of their lives.

- Why is "tasty" a compliment but "smelly" an insult?

- Humans can't go extinct because we need humans to classify humans as extinct.

- Break a pencil and you'll have two pencils, break a pen and you'll have no pens.