Heavy is the Head that Wears the Crown

Madness and Birthdays

Today was Amity's birthday.

No, not her apprentice's. That was in 3 months time. Lilith had already planned her gift and preparations for that. She even picked out the colour scheme for the ribbons on her gifts (mind you that this word is plural).

No, today was her daughter's birthday.

She went into the gardens and through the sunflower fields to her daughter's memorial statue. Falling onto the hard ground, she hugged herself as a cool breeze blew by. Lilith let a melancholy smile tug at her lips at the sight of the stone figure.

There had been no tombstone for her, for there was no body to be buried.

Setting down the bouquet of flowers, she tied a ribbon on her stone wrist, just as she did every year. A yearly ritual she had began the second year of her disappearance. The faded fabric of the ones from the previous years hung loosely from her hand.

"Happy Birthday my heart." she whispered, already shedding a few tears.

She sat and stared at the marble being for what seemed like hours. She whispered soft apologies and cried silent tears. Hidden notes were sung and sarcastic jokes were made. All fell on deaf ears of smooth stone.

She should be used to this by now, she thinks. She should be used to knowing she wasn't there anymore. She should be used to not hearing her voice or her laughter. Or that she would never hold her small body or kiss her soft cheeks again.

Yet why did she miss her so much? Even when it had been more than a decade?

"Do you remember Amity? My apprentice?"

She felt incredibly stupid talking to marble and rock. Like it would reply back. She sighed, seeing the smoke of cold forming around her. She leaned back onto the stone, letting a light tear trickle down from her eyes. The cold soothed her burning skin.

"I think you would have liked her. She reminds me a lot about you. She even likes The Good Witch Azura."

There had been days she had read them to her. Days she had spent days reading the books out loud so that she could know how the story ended. She was not particularly fond of them herself, they were horribly inaccurate. But her daughter had enjoyed reading them, so she might as well have done her the favour.

She would have done thousands of more things for her, given the chance.

Perhaps Willow would visit today if she wasn't terribly busy. Knowing her, she would bring all sorts of beautiful flowers and garlands for her. Willow was a sweet child like that.

"Willow misses you terribly. She talks about you a lot. The sunflowers have become her favourite."

The breezes continued to hit the grounds as she talked to nothing and everything at the same time.

"She's making new friends, if that's what you're worried about. She's smiling more often. Even joined the Plant Track."

Silence filled the gardens again, only the rustling of leaves being heard every now and then. Lilith took in a deep breath and held it. Her lungs were growing tired.

Sometimes the empress thinks that her lungs are overworked. They cried or screamed too often. She spoke and worked too hard. Sometimes she's surprised they still function at all. It's almost funny.

"I met your aunt Edalyn the other day. She's acquired a human child. Quite strange isn't it?"

There were more strange things said that morning, though she would not speak of them to anyone. Hours had passed, and she finally stood up from the cold gravel. Her feet kissed the grounds of the garden goodbye as she headed back towards the castle.