Heavy is the Head that Wears the Crown

The Learning Curve

His chest burns. He can't breathe. Titan, why can't he breathe?

"Everything will be alright, little one. Let it all out. I'll keep you safe."

Her hand caresses his cheek, wiping away any tears that left him.

"I'm sorry," he begs. It barely comes out. His throat is full, it is stuffy and he can't breathe. His heaving gets in the way of his apologies. "I'm so, so sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry-"

"Shhhh. It's alright. Everything will be okay, my dear. Let it all out. I'm here to keep you safe."

The burning in his side is nothing compared to the fire in his chest. How it blazed and kissed his torn lungs. How they suffocated him as he begged his mind to spare him of weakness.

Lilith held him, and Edric felt the urge to call her a different name. But his tongue is lost in a string of sobs and screams he can't seem to stop.

"Come here, my girl," he hears her whisper.

There is a shift on the bed, but Edric is too busy clinging onto Lilith's dress to look up. His eyes are full, and his head is frantic. Hammering to the beat of his heart, he could do nothing but wail like a pathetic, useless child.

"Shhh. Everything will be alright. You are safe."

"I'm sorry," her voice cracks, and Edric is furious he can't stop to comfort her. His sister is hurting and he can't help her either. He never does. And it makes him a horrible brother.

"I'm so sorry for being so stupid."

"Oh my darling," Lilith's voice is calm. It's always calm. She kisses his sister's forehead and lets her rest her cheek onto her neck. Even when she is covered in mud and bruises, she allows it to stick to her expensive dress. "We're all stupid sometimes. But you will be okay."

"I'm an awful person," Emira admits. And it's true. Edric and Emira are awful people. It cannot be helped. It is in their blood. A curse like the one running in her veins. Sometimes he thinks it's even worse. That they are more beasts than their cursed forms would ever be.

"I'm sorry you have to take care of us."

"I want to take care of you."

It's such a gentle thing to say. Not a hint of venom or debt tied. No invisible strings attached. It is just simple, and truthful.

Edric can't breathe. He's a monster covered in blood and muck. His sister is less horrible than he is, but she's covered in dirt and twigs and still Lilith holds them close. She lets their tears ruin her skin and dresses and Edric can't breathe.

"You two aren't perfect, and I can't say what you did was alright. We all know better than that. But that doesn't mean you are any less deserving of love than the rest of us."

Edric wants to rip himself from her. To cast himself out. If she is too blind to see him as what he is, then he should do the world a favor and do it himself. But titan, she's so soft. So kind. And even if she is a little awkward and stern, he cannot get himself to stray from her.

"But regardless of what you've done, I choose to care. I choose to take care of you. I choose to put in the effort. I just need you all to choose me too."

Lilith has already chosen them. She has taken them into her home like the rest of the wounded and the lost. She and her sister have built a sanctuary for the doomed and the broken. And even when they are rotting with their absolute evils in their heart, Lilith still feeds them as if they are part of the stars.

It is not fair. He feels as if he's stealing Amity's mother away from her. Wasn't it enough? That he was loved more than she was? Could he be any more horrible?

But... but she feels like the sun. She dresses as if she is the night sky and Edric has wandered in the dark for so long that he can't help but cling onto her light.

He... he just needs to hold on. Just for a little while. Just until he is warm again. Just until he memorized the new fields around him. And when that happens, he can ask Amity if it is alright. If it is okay to be so near what is hers. Be it she refuses or accepts, Edric will make sure to remember his place. He will be sure to keep his distance.

But... just for now. He holds on. He lets himself cry, with foolish promises that he will be able to get rid of the evidence. That no one will remember.

Lilith is cursed. She has a beast raging in her that would terrify the land. And that is the only reason it is okay for her to hold him.

Monsters are allowed to touch other monsters. They are allowed to break down in front of one another.

But Edric knows Lilith is simply the name she was tainted to have. Despite having the title of the Dread Persephone, queen of those of the dead, she was much more than just a ruined name.

It is he, who takes after the meadow that is evil. He is blight. He is decay. He is all that is horrible in this damned island.

But until Lilith touches the morning light, he would allow himself to be held by darkness.

He would allow himself to be the son of darkness.

Just until she is the mother of sun again.

—x—

A/N: I completely forgot to update here I am so sorry.