Heavy is the Head that Wears the Crown

Crystal Rain On Forest Fires

"I don't want a father."

Lilith held onto her daughter as she cried tiredly. It's one of those nights. Nights where Amity didn't have the strength to cry much, but wasn't peaceful either. It's more in between acceptance and tiredness.

Her baby is so so tired, and she wished she could drive her nightmares away. That she wouldn't scream every night.

Lilith wants to give her baby peace, but she can't do that. She can't silence the awful voices in her head. The voices they had put in her head. Always urging her to be perfect. To stay silent. To just do as you were told. That she was never good enough.

But she is. She's so so perfect and Lilith loves her to bits. Why couldn't Amity see that?

"That's completely fine. That way I don't have to share you," she joked quietly.

Amity smiles at that sentiment, leaning closer to her mother. The silks of her dress are stupidly soft. And Amity wants to snuggle it forever.

"I don't want a father," she whispers again, which seemed to be a habit now that she thought about it. Her daughter always seemed to repeat herself when trying to process.

The statement is true, nevertheless. Amity didn't want a father. One of them was absent. Well, both of them actually. But Belos was an entirely different thing on it's own.

Alador had never really been there . Making Amity all the more keen on pleasing him. Trying to get whatever fragment of his approval or attention she could. The twins were the same, she soon realized. Just not as severely as her daughter.

They're children, and the thought is terrifying. They were children and they were raised that way.

"I wish I could have raised you," Lilith admitted. "I wish I could put the world at your feet when you were younger. That I got to see you grow up happy, not anything like how they raised you."

Amity laces her hands into her mother's. Both of their nails painted a glossy black. Though her mother's are sharper than hers. Which is a bit strange, since to Amity she's always so gentle.

She doesn't really get why people are scared of her.

"Me too."

She kisses her cheek again, cupping her small face. She's still so tiny, she thinks. Lilith hopes that she never stops being tiny.

She hopes her baby stays small forever.

"Stop growing," Lilith whined, making Amity laugh weakly at the demand.

"Mama, you know I can't control that."

"Can you at least try?"

"I don't think I can try anymore than I already am."

Lilith huffed in frustration, hugging her daughter closer. All she's asking from the titan is to keep her baby small forever. Is that really too much to ask?

Thinking back at the laws of life, probably.

To be fair, after everything that's been going on, it wouldn't be a stretch.

"Mom?"

"Hm?"

"I don't want a father."

"I know my heart."

Amity shook her head in frustration. This wasn't something she could change, no matter what she wanted. She's always going to be Belos' daughter, and somewhere in the back of her mind, Alador's.