The Fortune

In which a fortune cookie saves a blind date going down faster than a roller coaster after a steep climb.

Waffle Cones (#1)

"Hello?" "Um, hey?" "Wait, you don't sound like my Aunt Kathy." "Unless I was miraculously converted into a member of the opposite gender and somehow related to whoever is on the other side of this call, then yeah. I'm not your Aunt Kathy." "Oh, shiitake mushrooms." ...

Ice Cream Cones

"Hello" "Hey." "Umm, so do you want some ice cream?" "Why else would I call an ice cream shop in the middle of a summer day when it is broiling hot and reaching record highs in the temperature department?" "Good point, so what do you want?" "Mint chocolate chip. My favorite! By the way, you have a very deep voice."...

A Dead Conversation

⇝Featured on Wattpad @humor profile⇜ Death is stuck in an odd conversation with its latest reap from Earth, and Death is not backing down. Cover by @wannabea-

Personal Assistant

[Highest ranking yet: #1 in Short Story] "Siri, if you were a person, what would you look like?" Does my appearance matter to you? "...."

500 Words in a Chapter

Let's face it. There are way more cliché books on this website than there are unique ones. Even the ones people say are unique tend to have some kind of cliché undertone. And then the ones that really are unique almost never ever get discovered. And it sucks. But for those of you who don't know your book is cliché, th...

The Starbucks Hotline

❝Hello, this is the Starb-❞ ❝HEEELP ME!! PLEASE! THERE'S A MURDERER IN MY HOUSE!❞ ❝OH SHIT, SHIT, SHIT!! WHAT DO I DO?! THIS IS STARBUCKS, NOT FREAKING 911. WAIT, HOLD ON. TRY TO KEEP YOURSELF ALIVE, I'LL CALL 911!! STAY CALM. IT'S GOING TO BE O- ❞ ❝Wait...did you just say Starbucks?❞ ❝Um...yeah?❞ ❝They have a hotlin...

S a t i n S h i r t s

She writes all night. He flirts with girls all night. But when they come together in his room... the Cool Boy of the school and the Socially Inept Girl share a bed and make the night theirs. © 2014 All rights reserved | Short-Story #2 | Humour #15 |

C o t t o n C a r d i g a n s

He came from a broken-loving Family. She came from the Slums. But when the two are faced with one another.... The Family Boy and the Homeless Girl find serenity. © 2015 All rights reserved

V e l v e t V e s t s

He disappears with magic. She sits on her chair all day. But when the two collide... The Ghost of the school and the New Damaged Girl consume in their flaws. © 2014 All rights reserved | Short-Story #1 |

L a c y L e a t h e r s

She has skin like porcelain. He is a shade like bronze. But when all their differences are put to the side... The Brown Boy and The White Girl indulge in the sparks between them. © 2014 All rights reserved | Short-Story #3 |

[ON HOLD] 36 Students in a Classroom

Update: This story has been discontinued. - I am terribly sorry. Your mother lied to you. She told you that you were unique, and that as a teenager you have a whole bunch of options you can choose from to determine who you want to be. She must have been high. Look, I'm going to tell you this honestly. Somewhere out t...

100 Voicemails

[You can now purchase 100 Voicemails' paperback on Amazon!] After a car accident, seventeen year old Steve Carlton, goes into a coma. When he does wake up after a few months, he suffers from temporary memory loss. During this time, he starts to go through his messages and voicemails on his cellphone, trying to get a...

Wattpad's Dirty Little Secrets

"OMG your work is so fugly." "Can that bitch even write?" "She wrote what?" "Oh gurl, hold me back." "Have you even seen a story so bad, you just want to like, die?" "I'm the baddest bad bitch on Wattpad. Bow down bitches!" "Follow me, read, comment and vote on all the chapters of my story, or else I'll kill my family...

Origami (Poem)

What if the only thing you have left is just a piece of paper? Well, more of a whole stack of papers, a thousand to be exact. Origami is the only thing for the one who folds again and again, one paper bird at a time. It's the only hope this person has who has fallen into the depression of knowing nothing will ever cha...

Who's Superman? (Poem)

Who's Superman? Was the question a little kid asked me. And all I could say was that there's no such thing as a Superman. He's just a fictional character with supernatural powers. He's not real, he's made up. But then who will save us when we're in trouble? I didn't have an answer for that.

Anger Management

❝Good morning. This is Target, how can I help you?❞ ❝Why do I have the sudden urge to kill my family?❞ ❝...Woah...well...shit. Ma'am, I think you dialed the wrong number.❞ ❝No. I dialed correctly. Are you any help?❞ ❝...No sé qué decir a esta chica loca.❞ In which a girl named Farah calls Target and meets a boy named...

Zombie Hotline

'A light romance comedy tinged with drama but don't be fooled: the twists will guarantee you an entertaining reading' @officalfuryevans 'A quick, but a very amazing read. I love how it's not cliché and unique. Very different from all the 'Hotline' stories I've read on Wattpad. You should read it.' @ceraunophic 'I rat...

It Started With A High Top

Anne De Ville is a do-the-same-thing-every-day kind of ordinary. On the one day she chooses to try and do something different, she ends up dropping her shoes down several flights of stairs, right onto the head of her crush-and her brother's best friend-Hunter Denegan. Will her Prince Charming look for the girl who lo...

stolen number |✓ book one of stolen series

❝hey, sweet cheeks❞ ❝do i know you?❞ ❝damn, i'm offended after all we have been through❞ ❝wrong number?❞ ❝try stolen number, babe❞ in which a boy steals a girl's number from his friends phone. ________________________________ highest ranking: #eleven in short story lowercase intended

Fairy Tale My A$$

♛Wattpad Featured Story♛ The retelling of Cinderella through the eyes of the (cynical and perverted) pumpkin that became the carriage. ▶There is strong language in this story.◀

The Observations of Patrick Kraker.

I'm pretty extraordinary (read: absolutely normal) for an average guy named Patrick- Patrick Kraker, and before you ask, no, I do not want a cracker; neither does Polly. Polly's sick of crackers. a) My summer job may or may not involve spray painting myself completely silver and standing motionless in the park. Of cou...

Diary of a Flappy Bird | ✔️

i wrote this when i was a kid please don't hold it against me 😭 readers comments: "oh my! just the first chapter and already a fan!" -@yawnlax "this should be worth an A*" - @mhin-tdreams "THIS IS SOME GOOD SHIT" - @itzyabitch "WHY DID I CHOKE" - @blxrryfxced © Copyright 2012 All Rights Reserved.

J e a n s J a c k e t

[FEATURED STORY] At school, they were nothing. At midnight, they were lovers. Because one minute after midnight... a rich girl and a boy who came from nothing found something they had in common. © 2014 All rights reserved | Short-Story #2 | Humour #25 |