→ finished ← Claustrophobic and agoraphobic, Alaska Gouramie doesn't leave the house much. She whiles her days away nurturing her goldfish, Gordon. Her life is passing her by. Elver Harrison James is scared of fish. He won't go near the pond at the bottom of his garden. He will do anything to stay away from those wate...
Graduation is right around the corner for Ada Sinclair. She's spent all of high school saving up for her dream college and skipped high school traditions to keep her grades up for scholarships. When the acceptance letter came in the mail, every ounce of her effort felt worth it. She's spent her life being a small fish...
When Helena finds a phone on the night train, she decides to text the first number in the list of contacts in order to figure out who it belongs to. ***** Helena Santos hasn't had the easiest life. At tw...
"Hello?" "Um, hey?" "Wait, you don't sound like my Aunt Kathy." "Unless I was miraculously converted into a member of the opposite gender and somehow related to whoever is on the other side of this call, then yeah. I'm not your Aunt Kathy." "Oh, shiitake mushrooms." ...
Adam is a billionaire, but he is also secretly a billionaire. Did I mention he's a billionaire? Also he's hiding a dark secret. And then there's Kiera Renesmee Jermagesty McKenna Ricardo Rosa de la Montoya Ramirez, a broke waitress who struggles to feed her cheese stick addiction. What happens when their paths cross...
I continue throwing pebbles at his window, a grin on my face. He finally opens his window, glaring at me. "What do you want Matthews?" "I have a really important question! It's a matter of life and death!" "What?" "Do you have a cat?" "Oh my god, you're so annoying... just... go to sleep." "But-" "Go to sleep."...
"You want to go find your brother, and I want to find my best friend. Since you're crazy and do dangerous things you can't go alone. Since I have no clue where to start or even how to, I can't go alone." "And since us together alone is haram..." "we marry and go together. Simple." He finishes off, a cocky smirk appear...
❝I- what? What are you talking about? Who is this?❞ ❝Well the bathroom stall says that this number is the gateway to a good time, and unless you're trying to say that a bathroom stall is lying to me, I think I need a little more information to be sold. Do you have like a yelp page I could look up? Past customer review...
"What are you doing?" -Seventh "Eating a bowl of soul."-Zero ".........Well then." -Seventh "I meant SOUP. A BOWL OF SOUP." -Zero "Yeah... sure, say it was a typo or blame it on the autocorrect." -Seventh "I'm laughing at my own failure right now." -Zero (Highest Ranking: #4 Humor 7.4.17)
❝Hello, this is the Starb-❞ ❝HEEELP ME!! PLEASE! THERE'S A MURDERER IN MY HOUSE!❞ ❝OH SHIT, SHIT, SHIT!! WHAT DO I DO?! THIS IS STARBUCKS, NOT FREAKING 911. WAIT, HOLD ON. TRY TO KEEP YOURSELF ALIVE, I'LL CALL 911!! STAY CALM. IT'S GOING TO BE O- ❞ ❝Wait...did you just say Starbucks?❞ ❝Um...yeah?❞ ❝They have a hotlin...
"Hello?" "Why do '24 hours, 7 days a week' shops have locks on their doors?" "Uh-" "Why is the meaning of life hard to find when we have dictionaries?" "Um perso-" "Why is the word 'abbreviation' so long?" "I dont kno-" "If a cow laughed really hard would milk c...