Alright listen up, you absolute legends and poor life choices.
1.6 thousand of you actually decided to suffer through this dumpster fire of a story. I’m flattered. Or terrified. Probably both.
Like, what are you people doing with your lives? Did your Netflix crash? Did you lose a bet? Or are you just secretly as messed up as me and thought, “Hey, this sounds like my kind of chaos”? Either way, you made my day… or ruined it. Still counts.
I was gonna celebrate with some fancy stuff…
like buying a pizza. But then I remembered I’m broke, my fridge is emptier than my motivation, and honestly, my old sneakers have more life in them than I do. So here’s a joke instead, because why the hell not?
Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything. Kind of like my excuses for not being a functioning teen. Boom. Mind blown.
Anyway, thanks for sticking around, reading about my train wreck of a life. You’re basically the real MVPs. And if you got this far without throwing your phone, you deserve a medal.
Or at least a free therapy session.
Stay messed up, stay awesome, and maybe go outside once in a while.
just kidding, don’t do that.
Peace out,
Harlan
