Angel of the Fallen Star

~ Painting the Wind ~

Chapter IDontRemember: Angelica

The dreams swept over me again. It was the same ones from before:

I was standing alone in the church on the headland, with the sound of the sea sighing below the cliffs. I was sad, but I didn't cry. I felt quieter than I ever had before, cut off in a silence, as if the little gathering of well-wishers and neighbors, and the vicar and the hymns and the flowers, had taken no notice of me. Invisible. I had gone, like a dove flying into the dawn. In my dream, I was wearing a flowing white dress that waved in the golden sunlight and the ruffling breeze. I was just standing there, looking out over the sea, and a bittersweet smile played at my lips dreamily, as if I was caught under the spell of the wild, wild sea. I'm not sure who the dream funeral was for, but it caught me, and I felt as if I could've been blown away, swept up by the warm summer wind, drifting away to a faraway place.

I was concious that the days were slipping past, tender with grief, and I wasn't going to return to the place I had once known for a long time. I was leaving the seagulls and the cliffs and the sea behind me once more.

My dream changed. I turned suddenly, headed down the rocky path toward the sea. As I walked along, the pale sun was rising from behind the clouds, pouring a spill of yellows and pinks, tipping the waves with a golden touch.

And then he same dark-haired boy with an exceptionally handsome face and startling blue eyes that made me melt was standing three feet away from me, he turned and stared into my eyes, smiled, as if amused, and with a swirl of his cape and a wink of his piercing blue eyes, was gone. Disappeared. Vanished. Again.

I puzzled over this for a while, and I couldn't help smiling about the curious dark-haired boy who had winked at me. Who was he? And why did he show up in my head whenever I'm unconscious?

All of a sudden, Dream Me raised my hand and began to brush my fingers along the sky. Bright colors flowed from my fingertips as they swept the horizon, like the gentle stokes of a paintbrush in the palms an experienced artist's caress. Sunshine yellows, rose pinks, crimson reds and pale oranges filled the once-blue sky as if the entire celestial heavens were blushing with iridescence, illuminating the realm of the Fallen, the angels that protect us from a loving eye's glance. I painted the swift summer breeze with a passion, a longing, a desire that felt as if it had been inside of me all along, like that was what I had always been meant to do, like the whole world and beyond had been waiting for me to. It felt.......right. The luminosity of the colors and the way I seemed to paint with such belief and faith in my abiliities was overpoweringly mezmerizing. Especially since the whole expanse was so spacious, if the word "spacious" could even describe the voluminousity of the sky. I just continued to paint and slowly the colors changed into darker ones and I still painted and painted until the sky was a deep azure speckled with glistening silver stars. I closed my eyes and let the confidence and pride and the feelings of hope swoop over my mind, and I allowed myself to think of him.

Then the dream changed to show me memories of Logan and I. They flashed past, each one showing snippets of a few seconds of memory: laughing, talking, sitting on the roof under the stars, him kissing my hand, swimming, arguing, me crying and he comforting me, arm around my shoulder, me running outside in the dark, him running up to me, at the lake kissing for the first time........... And finally, he slid the shining blade deep into my heart, the oddly painless death.

And then the dream changed for the last time, something that drove me crazy with worry and guilt.

Lucy.

My little sister.

She sat at the base of Our Tree. It was a strong sugar maple tree that stood next to our house, into which we had engraved a thousand intricate carvings. Swirls, spirals, patterns, anything. We had spent a whole summer working on it, and we had called it Our Tree. At the trunk of it, Lucy sat, her arms wrapping around its sturdy base. When she turned her head, I found she was weeping quietly, her eyes closed, tears dripping into all the crevices we had created, running down like streams through all the carvings. It absolutely broke my heart- whatever was left of it - if there was anything left over. I felt so guilty. So, so, so guilty. How had I not thought of her before? Her short blonde hair spilled over her shoulders, and for a second she opened her eyes; they were light, ice blue, but they weren't cold; they were loving, or, in this case, very, very sad.

I knew immediately why she was crying.

Me. I was gone and now she had no one. No parents. No one. I still remember every last awful detail of that dreadful night. But I couldn't think of that now. Lucy was crying. I wanted to reach out and comfort her. But I found myself unable to walk toward her, as if I was a mirage. Was it me that was the mirage or her? I wasn't sure. It was all my fault. Was the last shriveled piece of my shredded sanity fading and slipping from my hands? I had never questioned the existence of my remaining sanity-- until now, that is. I could already feel psychotics flooding my body and mind-- drowning what was left of my old self. Or was it just another plagued dream? I am not sure of anything now.

The dreams faded, thankfully, and there was an odd sensation to my skin-- I felt as if I were...... Floating..... Or.......Or drowning. I tried to struggle to reach the surface of my sea of terrified dreams, but I was sinking in them. I knew that it wasn't really water I was drowning in, but rather my endless thoughts of all the horrible things that had happened, are happening, or could possibly happen of what's to come.

I began to regain consciousness, I was rising to the top of my nightmares and emerging from them...... But I never would have seen this coming.

When my eyes opened, a person was holding me to them as if I was the only thing that mattered in the whole world to them. It was so familiar, being near them. And I knew immediately who it was.

"Well, I was beginning to think Sleeping Beauty might have needed a kiss of true love, if only for her to wake up." They said, amused.

"In that case, I am disappointed to have awoken." I replied.

I was in the arms of the dark-haired boy with the magnetic and most gorgeous eyes from my dreams.

And I liked it a lot more than I should have.

Heeeeeeey, guys! So I'm so sorry about the length of this chappie. I apoligize! To make it up to all of you, I'm starting right away on the next one, and it should be up very, very soon, I hope! Just in case it's not, I wish each and every person and animal and plant and fungus........ (You get the point) the bestest of all Christmases! Happy Holidays! I love, love, loooove all of you! Oh and I tried to make it suspenseful, but I don't think I did very well. Sorry! I'll have to work on that. You probably expected it. Oh well! Merry Chris- Haunna- Quanza! "Merry Christmas...... Everyone!" *And.... scene* Hehe, I had to and you know it!

Yeah so byyyeeee!