Angel of the Fallen Star

~ Breathless ~

Chapter One: Angelica

The kiss. All I could think about. I looked at the clock just inside the window, visible from my seat on the steps to the front porch. I tried to think of something else- anything else. I looked at the sky, a soft blue June afternoon sky.

But the kiss wandered back into my imagination, which wasn’t proving to be very vast right now.

I thought harder. The kiss came back like an unwanted guest or a boomerang. It’s not like I didn’t enjoy the kiss, I definitely did. Oh, it was wonderful. But I had to forget, I must.

But I couldn’t take the pressure. Each detail imbedded itself in my mind like bullets, poisoning my thoughts with the memory of that one tragic day that almost ended happily.

Those thoughts lead me.

I ran.

I ran faster than I ever had before. I wasn’t sure why I was running but I knew exactly where. Or is it that I knew who I was running to? Footsteps pounded on the sweet earth like heartbeats, like the world was alive and breathing and I was its heart, its power source to keep it going, a large burden on my shoulders and I was struggling from the weight.

I ran for what seemed like hours, but only mere seconds, each step thousands of miles long, taking an eternity. I ran. Adrenaline pounded in my ears. Sheer determination cleared the path in my mind, which had been clouded by unanswered problems that questioned the loss of my hopes, my dreams.

I clearly pictured my destination in my mind. The secret lake.

I have to be near the water like I need to breathe. Just like I have to be in his welcoming arms.

I had to show them I didn’t need anyone but him. I was strong. As strong as the deep green ocean. Those powerful waters gave me strength. I took a deep breath. Well, she’s always loved the sea, poor girl. The kind neighbors would say when they brought up conversation of my hanging about the beach every morning, but they couldn’t guess the truth. There was a wonderful beach a short walk away that I had gone to everyday, and after what happened I was almost always there. It calmed me, washing away my sorrows. I heard its voice calling me all the time, I felt it quicken my body, and I felt its restless pull. The water.

I hesitated before racing across the flaxen meadow of wildflowers, brushing my thighs as I passed. Our special secret passage was hidden away safely behind some raspberry bushes. I pushed some thorny branches aside to make an opening I could easily crawl through. Once I was inside, I peeked my head out and cautiously glanced in both directions to see if anyone was watching or following. No one was. Not that anyone ever had.

My feet were flying, barely touching the ground for a moment's notice. I race down a woodland path we had created a few years ago. It was scattered with orange and green pine needles and pinecones amongst the tall green grass. My hair flies behind me in a swish. I knew every tree by heart, I recognized each one. I knew where the animals held their home, like the chattery red squirrel that lived six feet off the ground in a hole of an oak. We called him Popcorn, because whenever we brought snacks, especially popcorn, to munch on, he would scurry over, take some piece by piece in his tiny little paws, and nibble on it high up in his tree, spying on us, plotting his next theft.

Finally I made it to the little lake, which we nicknamed Diamond Lake because of the way the sun shines on it in the evening. I sat down on the ground and dug my hands into the dirt, and I filled my palms with the rich, damp soil. I let it run through my fingers back to the ground.

I looked at the lake. It called to me, too. A few yards off shore onto the water, there was a rock big enough for two people to sit on. We had sat there. There was a cherry tree with branches like a Weeping Willow’s that leaned over the rock and dipped into the surface of the water, so it was like a private little room and the branches were like whispering walls, so we were away from the rest of the world, all the time we wanted to be alone together……..