Angel of the Fallen Star

~ Hatred ~

Chapter Five: Logan

~ Hatred ~

                "You," she hissed. The slit-eyed glare replaced the astonished look she had given me before. She couldn't hide the split second of joy that entered her face, but then she registered again that she was supposed to hate me, instantly remembering. She still loved me, I could tell. I couldn't help my lips quirking up in a guilty smile. I love her so much. It must sound odd. I know it looks like I tried to kill her, but no. She is my one, my only love, forever and always. I love her with all my heart, just as much as she loved me. Maybe more. It was so good to see her awake and alive. It broke my heart to keep her in here, chained to the wall. But I knew that she would have murderous feelings toward me, and I had to keep her suspended. I didn't really betray her. It just looked like that.

                "Yes, me. Angelica, I--"

                "How could you?" she said, her beautiful eyes filled with tears that were sliding down her face. I could tell regret showed on my face as well as shame. "After all we've been through together..... I never thought this was how it was going to end. I never thought that joy was going to end. I thought you were genuine. I wonder... How could someone so horrible put up such a convincing fasad? How is it possible to have that much hate inside and act as calm as you do? How do you live with yourself with the knowledge that you killed someone that loved you with everything she could give to you and more? You are vermin! Dirty, filthy, haggard, disgusting vermin! How could you?"

                I knelt down next to her and began to wipe away her tears. "Sweetheart, I--"

                She shrank back from my hand as if it had burned her with hot acid. She scuttled across the cold cave floor as far away from me as she could go, her back pressing up against the wall on the other side of the cave. "No! Get away from me! Don't touch me! And don't call me that anymore! I'm not your 'sweetheart'. No one deserves that kind of brutal punishment, being yours. If you can even call it that. I thought you loved me, Logan. I thought you were sincere. I was stupid to actually think that you cared. Why, Logan? Why?"

                She didn't give me time to answer. I opened my mouth to speak, but knew better than to try again.

                "Do you think you can just scoop me up in your strong arms, steal my heart, kiss me twice for good measure, then shove a dagger through my heart, committing murder, then act like it's all okay? Like I'm an idiot for not loving you now? Like I was given the best, once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to be your 'girlfriend', your 'sweetheart', even though you attempted killing me, it was all a trick to put my loyalty and eternal gratitude to the test? Is that it? Like it's an honor to be killed by you?" She said, and then switched to mimicking me. "I'm trying to date myself, but I can't figure out how! Why don't you date me instead? You're so lucky! You look like you'd be easily fooled by my manly charm and winning smile and macho good looks! You look gullible enough to throw that trusting, fragile heart of yours at me, believing that beneath my hunky exterior there's a sensitive, soft, heart full of gumdrops and sugarplums beating under my unbelievably handsome and impressive abs. Yeah, that's a great idea! I'm a genius! You should love me no matter what I do like all the other idiotic rag-dolls that invade this unfortunate planet. Sure, all the other stupid maggots like yourself love me, but if I can't have each and every one, no one can. I'll kill everyone who doesn't love and worship me! But who wouldn't? Your choice! Decide wisely." She stopped imitating me, for now, and started to yell accusingly. "Well, if you think all of those lies are true, then cut me loose and hand over that dagger, mister. Because I can't put up with this anymore. I can't live like this, I can't just throw myself at every man that I see. So I might as well just end my life before it's ended for me, is that right? Before it's wasted or thrown out like a piece of garbage flung into the streets, or a plaything tossed over your shoulder like a useless toy you've lost interest in. At least letting me die would leave a lot of unexplained blood and trouble on your perfect hands. I have no feelings for you anymore, and nor will I ever. They've been eradicated, obliterated, thanks to you. Get that through your thick skull. I hate you. I HATE YOU!"

                After her angry, red-faced rant was over, there was a moment of dead silence. Save for the quiet weeping from the far corner of the room, like cornered prey, knowing its life was over, the suffering behind brave features crumbling to ashes and dust. My heart ached. Yes, I still loved her. Of course I did. I never stopped loving her, and I always will love her. "I love you, Angelica," I whispered, but she still heard me, quiet as I was.

                "You don't know what it's like. This pain, this sorrow. You have no idea. You are a cruel, cruel demon to do this to an innocent girl." Her voice dropped low. "I hate you. Just wait until I break out of these bonds, which I will...... Just you wait. Don't you worry your pretty little head. You'll see. Then you'll know. You'll know."

                "I know, Angelica. You are sad--"

                "Sad? SAD?  It's so much more than that! How dare you Logan? You have no clue. None. I am not sad. My life is over. I have been plunged into a deep despairing darkness with no hope of ever escaping, no escape exists. It's simply gone. Not there. I loved you deeper than anyone else will ever love anyone. If you somehow combined the whole world's love and multiplied it by a thousand, that wouldn't even come close to the smallest fraction of the love I had for you. You were more than my world, more than my universe. More than my whole life. You were everything to me, Logan. And now it's something I'm ashamed of. That was the single worst mistake ever made in the history of love. I have pity on anyone that even thinks, "Oh that guy's not very horrible". You..... You are my misery. Words cannot express how evil you are."

                Her words stung. It took all my strength not to collapse on the floor next to her and tell her all the reasons she was the best person I had ever known, and why I had to do what I did. I don't know if she'll ever truly understand the pain and torture I have endured, to make sure she can stay safe out of harm's way, as far from this world unknown by her.

                "I'm so sorry, Angelica. I know you don't understand yet, but there was no other way. Unless you wanted to die for real.  I would never want that to happen to you. Ever. Never stop believing." I whispered, my voice faltering.

                She narrowed her es suspiciously, but there was a gleam of curiosity lingering in the depths of her eyes.  "What do you mean?" She asked gingerly.

                 "Well," I said, sitting down at my spot across the room. "It's kind of hard to explain... Are you ready for this?"