All I wanted

25.

Theo's pov:

It hurts. It hurt to see her in pain. And what's worse is that I caused her that pain. How do I manage to mess everything up? The only thing I wanted in a while, I fuck up.

Seeing her yell at me with tears running down her face left me emotionless. I couldn't believe that I did that. That I made the most beautiful, sweetest, and understanding person I've ever met think that I'm a monster. That I'm just some bitch that fucks around and doesn't care.

Well, I'm not. I do make mistake and fuck around but Athena opened my eyes. She changed me. She changed me for the better. I like myself when I'm around her. I liked being around her in general. She's too good for me.

Fuck, she is too good for me even my mom knows it. What if I'm not good enough for her? She already thinks that I'm not. I have to change that. I have to show her, prove to her but how? I never had to prove anyone anything before. She thinks I'm playing some sick game. God, I'm in too deep. She has me wrapped around her fucking finger and I'm not mad about it.

I'm not just trying to change for Athena but also for myself. I've realized how shitty of a person I am when Athena spat it at my face. I'm glad that she did it though. I am a fucked up person, I'm just glad someone finally said it straight to my face. Again, her confidence is another reason why I'm falling.

She just makes me so happy but I'm scared that I won't return the favor. I don't want to end up like my dad. I don't want to be a piece of shit that doesn't make their loved ones happy. Trying to keep my mom and Gracie happy and safe drains me. It drains me enough to the point that I didn't give a shit to care for anyone else. But of course, that changed.

She crawled under my skin and tugged at my heart. Everything seems to remind me of her. She is in my every thought and dream. Fuck I just can't help myself around her. Sometimes I'm acting like such a dick and I don't even realize it until she points it out. I get pissed for letting myself act and talk to her like that. She deserves to be treated better.

No wonder she thinks I'm a fucking monster. I mean look at me, I am one. But I'm trying to change. I quit most of my bad habits like vaping, skipping school, and giving a shit about what people might think of me. I never realized how much I actually missed out on school but if it wasn't for me skipping I wouldn't have been assigned a tutor and wouldn't have met Athena. I'm so blind that I didn't even notice her beauty or that she lived down the street from me. I'm lucky to have a girl like Athena open my eyes and show me.

After telling Lauren to get the fuck out and picking up Gracie, I lay in my room alone with my thoughts. My thoughts that were consumed by Athena. I'll show you, Athena. I'll show you that we can work and I won't stop until you see it too. I drift to sleep dreaming about a certain pair of hazel eyes and plump lips.

And to answer your thought Athena, I do, I want this too.

Happy Holidays!! I'm sorry that I've been inactive recently. I'll try to get a few more chapters up before New years. And 19k reads!!! Ahh, thank you guys so much!!💕