For Mattie

Chapter Fifteen

×Chapter Fifteen×
×Somewhere in Northern Maine×
×The Truth Is Painful×

Roderich paced the small of his shared hotel room, ignoring the quiet chants of Ludwig. A white, half opened letter sat on the old, provided table, bold black words taunting him. He thought this was for Matthew, the running away and avoiding pestering eyes.

But it was for the Beilschmidt brothers. Ludwig and Roderich were to be taken into foster care. For the third time.

"Zis is stupid! We've already been in zat shit of a system. They did nothing for us. Roderich, why would Gilbert hide zis from us?" Ludwig's words were hard to understand, his accent becoming thicker the sadder and angrier he got. Roderich knew this and moved over to his brother, sitting beside him and embracing the blonde haired teen.

"I'm sure it was for a good reason. But all we can do know is wait..."

2 hours earlier

It has been nearly four months since the group of friends left their trash neighborhood in Boston. They've crossed three states, avoiding pestering eyes. It was easier said than done, Matthew's family have searched endlessly for him for a month and a half, and the police have been involved. They claimed he either ran away or have been abducted by one, if not, all his friends. CPS and the police in two states have also put up rewards for finding Roderich and Ludwig Beilschmidt. It has brought questions but Gilbert simply said it was probably a threat to return. 

But everything seemed to dial down as they took refuge in a small town in Maine. Settling down at a motel, the older four have decided to put themselves under false names and got jobs. Ludwig and Roderich were to continue their education independently with whatever textbooks they brought along.

It was early in the morning when Roderich was awoken by Lars. The two had a secret relationship with one another, so with a chaste kiss, Lars was about to bid goodbye when Roderich couldn't hold back the thing that has been bothering him.

"Abel? Can I ask you a question?" The younger male spoke in a hushed tone, afraid Gilbert or anyone else would overhear. Lars, now intrigued, sat beside his boyfriend and forced a soft smile.

"You know you can ask me anything. So shoot"

"I saw you and Gilbert talking before we left Boston. He seemed...upset. Vat was zat all about?" Lars froze up for a nanosecond before going back to his normal posture, although he seemed tight. 

"It's nothing. I have to go" that sentence alone ended the short converstation. Roderich knew when to never cross a line, and he couldn't bare to upset or anger Lars. So with a defeated nod, Lars smiled and left.

"Are you going to give up so easily? Look, you damn fool. Gilbert has the answer to your questions."

Roderich also knew it was bad to snoop around. But he noticed his elder brother so worriful and tired. If he just knew what Gilbert was worrying over with, he can help.

With renewed confidence, Roderich got ready and waited until Gilbert and Matthew, as well as Ivan, left to their jobs. Seeing that Ludwig was already working on his studies, Roderich left the room quietly and went over to Gilbert and Matthew's motel room. It was easy to pickpocket the door, since the knobs were old and loose. Getting in the easy part, looking for that damned paper was going to be the hard part.

...

An hour has passed and Roderich had search every bag and box that Gilbert and Matthew have brought. Just whem he was to give up, Roderich spotted an envelope, hidden under some dirty clothes.

"Bitte...I don't want to touch those..." he thought bitterly, gagging mentally as his hands pushed away the discarded clothes. He grabbrd the envelope, which has already been opened, and pulled the folded paper out. Opening it up with shaky hands, his eyes skimmed through each paragraph. Every reassurance and confidence he had was now gone. The note fell from his hands and he curled into himself.

Don't cry, don't cry.

But the stinging in his eyes disobeyed him as warm tears fell freely.

Present

"We have to confront him, Roderich. They're not going ro stop dearching for us. We have to leave to Canada, secretly-"

"Vat? Nein! Do you know how dangerous and illegal that is? Gilbert has gotten into too much trouble." The doubts were returning. Roderich had always believed that he was the one to cause the troubles in his family. He blamed himself for his mother's death and his father's sudden disappearance. He blamed himself for not wanting to be adopted, just because of his differences. He knew he was the black sheep. His mother was not Ludwig amd Gilbert's. Theirs died, jusy like his own. But his mothers death was what pulled the trigger. Four years of abuse and neglect from his own father.

"It's all your fault. Selfish. Greedy. A mistake. The black sheep. Different. Horrible."

"R-roddy? Are you okay? Hey...look at me" but Roderich couldn't see his beloved brother, unintentionally digging his nails deeper inyo his soft flesh. Ludwig noticed this and quickly tried prying away those harmful hands, resulting in Roderich scartching himself further. With a small hiss, Roderich snapped out of his trance and stared up at Ludwig.

"We...we have to tell him..."

"I know, Roderich...."

...

When Gilbert and the others got back home, they went into the two younger members of their group room. It was a surprise to see both boys looking so...far away. Whem Ludwig noticed his elder brother, he stood and stormed over to the pale haired boy, his height reaching the ones of the other.

"Were you ever going to tell us?" He spoke in German, his voice harsh and loud. Like a commamd.

Gilbert's eyes widened because not only was Ludwig holding up that forsaken note, but because they knew.  But he wasn't to let his emotions get in the way, so he returned the sharp glare.

"Nein. Because I knew it was goimg to result in multiple emotional breakdowns. But we're safe-"

"They're still looking for us, Gilbert!" Roderich cut in with a cry.

"Of course they are! All those people do is tear innocent families apart! There's kids out there being beaten to death but nooo, when I simply try protecting a friend of mine, our family is suddenly in danger!"

"I know that all too well, Gilbert. But by looking into our past, they of course wouldn't trust you! It was barely 9 months ago when you had the rights for us. You're our foster parent and Ludwig's brother"

"I'm your brother too, Roddy-"

"I'm bringing everyone down! I'm going back."

The room became silent but the tension seemed to rise. Lars shook his head, heading outside for a smoke and probably some good screams. Ivan and Matthew remained silemt, watching eveything unfold. It was an silent pact they made. To never try to get into one's family issues. Sure that pact was broken a few times but this moment was when it should not be.

"Vat do you mean?" When he got no response, Gilbert stormed up to the brown haired hoy and grabbed ahold of his shoulderd, shaking him lightly.
"Answer me verdammit!!"

"If I go back, they might stop searching for you two. Gil, you know they've always wanted me. I'm the black sheep of this family. I have nothing in store for me in the future. I might as well stay in foster care until I turn 18..." Roderich trailed off, his throat suddenly tightening up. Gilbert loosened his grip but instead, he wrapped his arms around the brunette and pulled him into a tight embrace.

All the hard work just to keep Roderich. He never truly understood why his Roddy was so different but it's been his job since the beginning to protect him. And he wasn't going to stop.

"I love you, Roddy. Please forgive me"

"Wa-" before the word came out, Roderich's world suddenly went black.

A/N- Was it good? Please let me kmow. Four more chapters!!!

Sorry for any mistakes!!