Too Bad So Sad ~ Chapters 1-5 Available To Read Now ~

2 ~The Aftermath

WARNING: THIS STORY TALKS ABOUT SUICIDE, DRUG USE, AND OTHER THEMES/ TOPICS THAT MAY TRIGGER OR BE SENSITIVE  TO SOME READERS. IF YOU DON'T FEEL COMFORTABLE READING THIS, I ADVISE YOU TO STOP READING. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.

I can't tell you that there's a god or a hell. Why? Because there was nothing to see, all I saw was pitch black darkness. It was simply as if I went to sleep. However I can tell you that little stunt I pulled in my bathroom costed me a ride in the ambulance to the hospital so I could get my stomach pumped. I hated life as soon as I woke up because I felt like garbage and the severity of what I had done had hit me. After my week long stay at the hospital I landed myself in rehab. Which is OH so much fun. They give you fuzzy socks, fun little pills to stabilize your mood, your own personal room with an angled shower head and cozy little house slippers you can use to slide on the floors with. Although most people associate rehab as a place for drug addicts or alcoholics, I wasn't abusing drugs or alcohol, I was just a bit more depressed than usual. Or at least depressed enough to try and end it. However I was only there until right before my senior year started, so by the time August came around I was in much better shape mentally. Was I one hundred percent? No but I made an adequate amount of effort to get better again.

As soon as I got out of rehab, I was greeted by my sister Winnie, my brother Derek and mom. They welcomed me back with open arms. However there was one thing that worried me, it was going back to school. I had wondered if everyone had finally forgotten or if everyone was going to remind me once again of how horrible I was. Either way I had to face the music. Although I wasn't particularly good at it, I started journaling my thoughts and feelings during rehab and continued when I got out. It was a way for me to destress.

The first day of my senior year is supposed to be exciting, but I was nervous. I walked through the halls to see old and new faces, and barley anyone was looking at me (which is exactly how I liked it.) it out my mind at ease. What didn't put my mind at ease? Well, my locker being directly across from my former best friend wasn't exactly on my bingo card to be quite frank. And she had cultivated a brand new friend group meanwhile I had nobody. The one person I didn't see in the hallway that day was Jason. He just seemed to be completely absent, it was better that way for me. Out of sight, out of mind. Her new friends stared when they saw me walk up and unlock my locker. I wanted to try and patch things up with Kira even though the chances of that happening were slim to none. I still had to try. So I turned around and walked towards her. Her friends fell silent and I saw the smile disappear from her face.

"What do you want?" She asked with an attitude and rightfully so.

"I-I just want to talk, in private-." I stuttered. I had no right to ask for even that and I knew that well and good.

"Why the hell would I do that?"

"I-uh-I just want to try and patch things up with you, and I wanted to apologize for-"

"Absolutely the fuck not. You chose a boy over me, I'm not just gonna fucking forget that? Are you out of your mind?" Kira's yelling had attracted the attention of Xoey Ibanez (who you will be seeing come back again and again.)

"Well won't you just look at this." Kira and I heard her voice and we both let out a collective annoyed sigh.

"This is quite the reunion. All we're missing is Jason...isn't that right Kira?" Kira made an annoyed look on her face, but it was almost as if she was trying to hide something and Xoey was highlighting it in big bold letters.