Where The Heart Is

A Grim Sense of Humor

Note: Anon prompt: The first time Lewis smiles at Arthur again, or better yet the first time Arthur jokes with him after the cave, or possibly these two coinciding together? So, in-between Best Served Cold and Worse Than Death. Maybe a bit edgy at first, awkward for Arthur, until Lewis smiles and it becomes light.

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            There wasn’t much out of the ordinary about the young man strolling down the grocery aisle, pushing a grocery cart in front of him. Granted, he had one metal arm that had a death grip cracking the plastic handle, but everything else was notably common. Well, perhaps glowing violet eyes weren’t the most common thing after all, but with his head ducked low and his hair brushed forward and down, who could really tell?

            The young man’s hands reached out for a pack of steaks, then froze an inch away.

            “Until you can walk yourself out the door stop fighting me,” He hissed to himself, forcing his hands to take the meat and drop it in the cart. “What’s your problem anyway? You always loved steak.” He pushed the cart a little farther, before exclaiming, “I did NOT overcook it! I just don’t like my meat bleeding!”

            He coughed nervously as he drew a few stares, ducking his head again. “Look, Arthur, it’s your food anyway, you get to cook it however you want. Can you not fight me? I’m trying to help.” Another pause. “Because I’m your—” His voice rose again. “Stop that. Stop it, you…” He shoved the cart hard, spinning toward the door and stalking out, ignoring the stares and the children herded away. He exited the building, making for the little alley by the dumpster just behind the store. He sat himself squarely on the ground with his back pressed firmly to the wall. And then he exhaled slowly, a sharply dressed skeleton phasing out of his body. Immediately the young man went limp against the wall, his eyes fixed on the ground, his trembling hands pressed flat against the cement.

            The skeleton squatted in front of him. “Why are you still doing this?” He demanded. “You’re fighting me because you don’t deserve my help? That’s what this is about? Arthur you’re the smartest stupid mechanic I know. How many times do I have to spell it out for you?”

            Arthur cringed, unable to lift his face.

            “I get it, okay? I hear it in your head all the time, and nothing I say changes it.” Lewis threw his hands up, hair flaring in frustration. “But that doesn’t make it any less exasperating that you don’t believe me! It’s been two days since we put that Spirit away, what’s it gonna take?”

            He stared at Arthur for a few moments, waiting for a response. When none was forthcoming, he settled down on his rear, arms resting over the tops of his knees with a sigh. “Cause the world might do me in.” He said softly, and Arthur’s whole body tensed. Lewis reached out, brushing the top of Arthur’s knee with a hand. “It’s alright,” He emphasized firmly. “Cause I’m with friends. Arthur… it doesn’t matter.”

            Arthur reached out a hand, and Lewis’ own hands practically swallowed his. “We’ll get through this. Besides, Vivi still thinks I’m drop dead handsome.”

            Arthur’s head jerked up, his eyes wide with shock. There wasn’t a hint of a smile on Lewis’ face.

            “She says I used to be a dead ringer for some Italian actor she forgot the name of, he had real killer looks.”

            Arthur blinked, the corner of his mouth twitching.

            “She asked if she could experiment with my hair, but I told her over my dead body.”

            Arthur’s mouth quirked hard as he struggled to keep a straight face.

            Lewis rolled his eyes, heaving an exasperated sigh. “Good grief Arthur, it’s okay to laugh, it’s like you’ve never heard of deadpan humor.”

            With that, Arthur threw back his head, howling hysterically, clutching his ribs and howling. Tears streamed down his cheeks as all his tension evaporated, spent on helpless laughter.

            Lewis’ eyes crinkled up and he punched Arthur’s shoulder lightly. “There it is. Been too long.” He waited until Arthur subsided into hiccupping giggles.

            Wiping his eyes, Arthur looked up, a wide smile on his face. “I d-d-didn’t th-think you’d e-ever joke w-w-with me again. I m-missed you.”

            Lewis felt the corners of his eyes turn up further, smiling as only a skeleton could. “Think we can finish getting groceries now?” His friend nodded, and Lewis turned around, slipping back inside of Arthur. They stood back to their feet, returning sheepishly to their abandoned cart. Lewis might not need food anymore, but Arthur’s had spoiled and what hadn’t spoiled had been finished off. If Vivi found him with Arthur starving again, there’d be hell to pay.