Thoughts of a stranger.

Long way down

Four years later

After dad died, things changed way too much.

My poor mom, she changed completely, the trauma from seeing dad die and for her going through almost the same really screwed her. For a whole year after the accident she woke up almost every night screaming things like "OLIVIA COME HELP, BEN IS DYING", or "THEY'RE HERE, THEY'RE GONNA KILL ME", those were horrible nights, I had no idea what to do, Derek would come into my room crying his eyes out until there were no tears left to cry, the poor kid was so scared, and every time I went to my mom's room she would go crazy and say things like "BACK OFF FROM ME, DON'T YOU DARE TOUCH HIM, I'LL GIVE YOU THE STUPID WATCH" and then in the morning, she wouldn't even remember, and I had to tell her that she wouldn't stop screaming, but she said that she just remembered going to bed and falling asleep.

The truth is my family never became the same. No one ever talks at dinner, we don't even sit together anymore, as Derek grew up, he became quite distant from us. My mom gives him a lot of freedom because she thinks it might help him, but it's not helping anyone, he goes out and comes back pretty late, he goes to a lot of parties and I don't really like his friends, plus Derek's mental health is very poor, he is very easy to manipulate and I'm scared that they might give him drugs or make him do bad stuff.

We agreed that my mom should go see a psychiatrist to see how she can be helped, turns out she has now Post-Traumatic stress disorder, which explains her intense nightmares and flashbacks about the accident, her blackouts and withdrawal from almost everyone. Now, she always stays home because she says that when people get too close to her it triggers her trauma and she starts panicking, so now we don't do anything together, everyone minds their own business and we barely talk.

The worst part for me is that my relationship with Derek everyday gets worse, if he's not out he is always in his room locked. Every time I ask him if he's okay he pushes me away and tells me it's none of my business, he really doesn't talk to me anymore, it's like I annoy him by just existing. I miss him a lot, he's there but he's not the Derek I now, he's not my Derek.

I have a bad feeling because lately he's been acting much weirder than he usually does. Whenever I bring him food to his room, he doesn't even open the door, he just tells me to leave it outside, plus I've been listening to him real late in the night opening all the windows and turning on his shower, like if he wanted to smoke something without us knowing, or maybe I'm just paranoid and overprotective. I really need to talk to him, I need to know if he's okay, that's my job as his sister and I need to keep trying.

I got out of my room and went to his, I took a deep breath and I knocked on his door.

-Who is it?- He asked

-Derek it's me, open the door.

- Who's me?- The kid can be annoying sometimes huh

- Derek it's Liv, open the door.

- What do you want, Liv?

- I want you to open the door

- For what?

- Because I want to talk to you

- About what?

- Derek please, just open the door

-Liv, please just leave me alone

- Why are you so stubborn, Derek? I just miss talking to you

He didn't answer

- Oh, come on, Derek

- I swear to god Derek!

I heard him move and he unlocked the door