Love Without Tragedy | JB | a.u| BWWM | COMPLETE

Thirty Seven.

I must've been really tired from all the fooling around Justin and I got my up to last night because I only woke up at 10am.

After the bath that Justin and I took together, we messed around and had a pillow fight before watching a movie, 'Grown Ups', I think. Neither of us wanted the day to end but it had to and it only did after midnight when I started feeling sleepy. So much for Justin taking an early night before his trip to NYC.

On Justin's pillow was a folded piece of paper and on top of it was a small blue box.

I sat up and frowned slightly at the sight of the empty space beside me. I'd spend the next two days with Catherine and this McKenzie guy I'd never met.

I already missed Justin and it hadn't even been a full day.

I took the note in my hands and read it. I made a mental note to ask Justin if he'd ever considered becoming a doctor because his handwriting was just... messy.

'Good morning, Dileah. I hope you slept well last night after our wild night. I did. Unfortunately I had to be up really early this morning. I don't look well rested and you're partly to blame for that but I don't mind.

I woke up really early so I could write this for you. I'm quite chicken so it was hard for me to gather the guts to tell you this to your face. I've never been good at expressing my feelings, especially when the feelings are so strong.

I do hope I don't frighten you with this. I don't want to rush you but I just want you to know that I really, really like you. You make me happy and last night was so much fun, I'd like to do it all again. I've never done that with a girl before and it made me sleep with the broadest smile on my face. You always manage to make me forget my reality and I like that. You relax me. My life's pretty complex and you don't need to stress yourself with details about it just yet. I'm just more than happy to help you carry your load.

I got you a bracelet. It has an anchor pendant on it. I want you to always remember that you calm me and keep me stable when the storms in my life seem to be too strong and I want to be your anchor too. I think we make a really good pair. You're exactly what I need.

I hope you survive these two days without me. I'll try to cope without you (: I'll text you often and call whenever I can.

Take care, sweetheart.

Justin.'

I smiled at the letter and reached for the little red box. I opened it and found that the anchor bracelet Justin gave me was made of what felt like leather and a slightly heavy anchor that was gold. The straps were turquoise and white and they held the anchor in place.

The thought behind this made me smile.

I put the bracelet back in the box and promised myself that I'd put it on after showering.

I got my new phone off the night stand and went to the contact list for Justin's number (which I discovered he'd stored himself). I would've called but I didn't want to disturb his meeting if he was already in one. I sent him a text instead.

'I love the bracelet and the idea behind it. U're sweet. I miss u already. I really like u too. It scares me and I know u hate that it does but I'm working on it. Hope ur meetings go well. Hope ur day goes well too. PS: I'm keeping that letter u left me for a long time :P'

I got out of bed and headed to the bathroom to get my day started. After slipping into sweat pants and a hoodie, I connected my earphones to my phone and headed downstairs as I listened to some music.

I spent most of my day just watching tv and smiling stupidly to myself about mine and Justin's playfulness the night before. He was in a suit now, I remembered. Playful Justin wasn't in New York.

I hoped that he was safe with Lewis. I hoped that he'd come back early tomorrow.

I headed upstairs and sat on Justin's bed as I called Ms Jones. I knew she was hard at work but I also knew that if I didn't call now, I'd later forget or something.

She wasn't quick to pick up so I guessed she was really busy.

Her voice through the phone made my heart warm up and we were quick to talk about everything.

"I'm glad you're happy, dear." Ms Jones said after I told her about my boat ride and last night.

"Justin's in New York for work so I'm currently bored." I admitted.

Ms Jones giggled.

"What magic has Justin possessed you with? You're so smitten, it's adorable. I wish I could see your face. I don't recall you ever speaking of someone with such happiness in your voice."

"He's just really... good for me. Exactly what I need." I blushed.

"He loves you."

He didn't say that, I thought.

"I guess." I said.

I wished he did say he loved me. Maybe he didn't want to freak me out, like he said in his letter. I did just recently get out of a scary relationship. Love was still a lesson to me; real love. Justin's kind of love, minus the unnecessary gifts.

After my talk with Ms Jones ended, I found that I had a text from Justin.

'In a meeting. Bored ): I miss u. Glad u liked the gift I got u.' It said.

I instantly replied: 'I LOVE it. Focus on the meeting. It's important.'

Justin replied: 'That's what assistants are for, baby. Are u trying to get rid of me, Miss Banks?'

I giggled as I sensed he was grinning when he replied to my text.

'I wouldn't dream of getting rid of u. I just want what's best for u. Focus.' I replied.

Justin didn't reply for a while so I used the time to make the bed and tidy up the bedroom a little.

'Okay, MOM. I'll call u in the evening. Got dinner with the clients later. Don't fall asleep ): otherwise I wont have a reason to make a call in the men's room at the restaurant.' Justin's text said when I checked.

I smiled and put my phone in my pocket.

I loved it when he was 20-something and all kinds of fun. It always made me giggle and I knew that he liked it when I giggled.

The thought of Justin texting me in a meeting made me realise that playful Justin was never too far away.

He said his life was too complex. What did he mean?

I just hoped that he'd stay cheerful for a long time. I wanted to help him stay cheerful. I also wanted more pillow fights, bathtub massages and late night movies with him. I wanted to remain his anchor too. I wanted to love him wholeheartedly and have him love me just as much. He said he 'really, really' liked me. Did the number of really's matter? Did it mean he liked me a little more than I liked myself or him, for that matter?

Relationships were so complex. It was with Justin but each moment was worth it. If he liked me more than I liked myself, that was okay. I never really liked myself from the start, no one really did. So knowing that someone else liked me that much was heart warming. If he liked me more than I liked him... that was impossible. He'd given and shown me so much. I'd given him nearly nothing of substance. There was no way he could like that, that much. But then again he had everything. Or did he?