Trapped In Time

Chapter 5: Strangers In Suits

My stomach was doing flips as we walked into this "party". It was an old fashioned building. Walking in I was greeted by the smell of alcohol and strange music playing. The song gave me an unsettled feeling. It was a little creepy and sad.

A girl with a dark bob scuttled up to Keith, "Keith darling! So good to see you!" She kissed him on the cheek and handed him a drink. "So who's your little lady friend?" She gave me an exuberant smile that made my stomach turn.

"I'm Macen," I attempted to smile back.

"Well Macen, I'm Tera!" she purred my name. "What can I get you to drink?"

"O-oh," I stuttered. "I don't. Club soda is fine." I was embarrassingly inexperienced when it came to drinking. Club soda is what people always asked for when they didn't want to drink. Apparently Keith never bothered to mention my age.

Keith introduced me to numerous people throughout the night as he threw down multiple drinks. Yet he didn't seem the slightest bit tipsy. I nursed my club soda and politely made small talk with his friends.

We were eventually engaged in a long discussion with a guy named Fredrick.

He had a pale face and white-blonde hair. He was a scary kind of handsome. He kept shooting me smiles; I was unsure how to respond. "Macen doll, Keith and I go way back did you know? We've known each other for years and years."

"Oh, like since you were little kids?" I asked.

He hooted with laughter, "Sure! You could say that!"

Keith shot him a look.

I smiled a little bewildered. Being here made me feel like a little girl. I was being talked down to, and it seemed like I was missing something. Inside jokes and years of friendship; I was clearly an outsider. Feeling overwhelmed, I excused myself to the bathroom.

Fortunately, it was empty. I stared in the mirror, taking deep breaths. Keith's friends were so...odd. The way they talked, dressed, the music they listened to. I didn't want to be judgmental, but it was so confusing. They seemed...wise, or maybe just mature? I couldn't tell. Gathering my courage, I headed back out.

Fredrick gave Keith a questioning look, neither of them saw me approaching.

Keith shook his head. When he spoke, I caught a little bit of it. "No not her. She's...different. Special."

I didn't know what exactly I "wasn't" but Keith's words made me smile. I walked up and kissed him in the cheek. "Hi," I breathed.

He pulled me into his lap. I felt completely comfortable there.

Fredrick smiled at us, "Macen what brought you to Keith?"

"Well," I pondered. "I came to Devil's Backbone because my mother used to work there at The Cavern."

He nodded, "Ah your mother. A wonderful woman...I'm sure."

I nodded, "I think so. I don't remember her. She died very young."

"Ah death is a terrible, unwanted, unexpected thing. It chases after the best of us."

Unsure of what to say, I just nodded. The words bounced around in my head the rest of the night.

~~~

That night I lay in bed filled with thoughts of Keith and the great night we'd had. When we got back to the hotel we were kissing and he had started tugging at my dress. It had startled me, and I kind of panicked. I pulled away, mumbling some excuse about being tired. Now here I was, hiding in my room.

I wanted to sleep with Keith, a lot. It's just that it was so sudden. It caught me off guard, and I wasn't sure how to handle myself. Seeking comfort I opened up the diary.

February 14, 1995

Angelo gave me the most spectacular Valentines Day. We started the day off with a drive into another town to have breakfast in this sweet little restaurant. Angelo told me he used to go there when he was little, but it was an ice cream place. After breakfast we went for a walk in a park. It was such a beautiful day. We got hot dogs and ice cream for lunch at a little stand. Then for awhile we just payed in the grass talking. Angelo lazily smiled at me and said, "I want you with me forever." I'm still not sure what he meant by that. Marriage? I'm barely nineteen; I don't know if I want to be married. Not so soon anyway. When we went back to the hotel, he had a nice dinner ready for me. It was adorable, not to mention delicious! After a long day, we slept together. That's where I am now, with Angelo asleep next to me. Even though I'm scared of committing to him so soon, I do love him.

The more I read the diary, the more confused I became. My mom seemed so happy and in love. What went so terribly wrong? What made her take her own life. There were no signs of depression or fear, nothing that hinted at unhappiness. Was it me? Maybe my mom couldn't handle the idea of having a baby. And knowing she couldn't get rid of me, she got rid of...herself? The idea made me feel empty inside. Like some sort of dreaded mistake.

Mitten rubbed against my leg; as if he could somehow sense my sadness. I tried to push the thought out of my head; I had no proof that I was the reason. Still, now I wanted to know my mom's reasoning more than ever.

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Why do you think Macen's mom killed herself?

-cc