Trapped In Time

Chapter 7: Psychotic

The past few days I had woken up with a pounding headache. Not to mention I kept having that dream; the one where I watch my mother run from someone. Keith had been nice enough to let me take some time off. I was feeling sick, but I was also relieved to be able to avoid the other maids. Seeing them filled me with shame, even when I wasn't doing anything wrong.

Mitten meowed at me, wanting food. Slowly, I got up, banging my leg in the process. I poured myself a bowl of Cheerios for breakfast. Noticing my mom's diary on the table, I picked it up and began to read.

June 7, 1995

So Gran showed up today, completely unannounced. I was just minding my own business, doing my work, when Angelo tells me I have a visitor. Gran was waiting in the lobby for me. When she first saw me I could tell her eyes softened, but quickly turned ice cold again. "Sure made it hard to find you," she grunted at me.

I stared her down, equally icy. "I wasn't trying to be found. What are you doing here anyway?"

I watched her face heat up and her fists clench. "Renée Abigail we had a deal, and you know that!"

My cheeks were red with embarrassment. Using my full name, treating me like a child, and in front of Angelo! "What are you talking about?" I was on the verge of screaming at that point.

"We made a deal! You had one year to figure your life out however you wanted! If you didn't do that, I get to call the shots from now on. Well that year's up and I don't see a hell lot of anything going on here!" She was practically shaking with anger.

Shit. That had been our deal. I had completely forgotten. Had it really been a year. A year had seemed so long when I had made the deal. I thought for sure I would be set. I was so angry, and I took it all out on Gran.

Basically I told her that I was an adult and she couldn't make me do shit. Of course I said all this while screaming like a three year old. She yelled and me saying things like "I hope you're happy" and "you'll realize how stupid you're being eventually". Then she just up and left. Maybe it was just me, but I think she looked a little hurt. Right before she shut the door, she stared me straight in the eyes and whispered, "You're just like her."

Looking back on that tonight, I feel pretty guilty. Gran took care of me all those years after my mom ran off. I knew that her doing that had killed Gran. She left me and pretty much fled the country. Gran's probably afraid I'll do the same thing. She had mom young, and mom had me young. She suffered with mom and now I'm doing the same thing to her. Maybe I am just like her. Crazy, uncaring, ready to just get up and leave the people who loved me the most. I wish Gran would come back. I would apologize, tell her that I love her. That I'm thankful for everything she's done for me. But it's too late.

Did Gran ever get to hear her say this? Something in me doubted it. I assumed Gran was dead. After all, I had ended up in foster care because I had no immediate family to take me. But when would she have died? Supposedly Gran had had my grandmother young, who had had my mom Renée young, and Reneé had me young. Assuming they all had children around age twenty, that would make Gran, my great grandmother, a little younger than eighty. That wasn't incredibly old.

Head pounding, I called the only person who might know something. Bev.

I tried twice and no one had answered. I wasn't giving up yet, I called a third time.

On the fourth ring she finally picked up, "Jeez Macen! I was in a meeting. Haven't you ever heard of voicemail?"

"Sorry, but it's important."

"Is everything okay?" She asked, concerned.

"Yes, well sort of. No immediate danger. But do you remember that box you gave me when I last saw you?"

"Ah, yes dear. Did you find anything interesting?"

"Well," I started, "There was this diary that belonged to my mom-"

"Really?" She asked incredulously, "I assumed when the man gave it to me it would just be meaningless junk-"

"Wait what man?" I was momentarily distracted from my question.

"What was his name, Kevin maybe? He said he had found it in a building he had just bought. I guess he googled Renée, the links always bring people straight to the Foster Center."

"His building?" I questioned.

"Yes, I think it was a hotel."

My heart thudded, "Are you sure it wasn't...Keith?"

"Why yes! I believe it was. Do you know him?" Bev was babbling on.

Confusion was clouding my head, I needed to ask about Gran and then figure out what Keith had to do with it. "Doesn't matter. The diary though, my mom mentioned a grandmother. Is she dead? I mean I know she must be; since I didn't have any family to take me in. Right?"

Bev, for the first time since I had called, was quiet. "Well you're right, there was no family to take you in-"

"What does that mean?" I demanded.

"You see Abigail, your great grandma, isn't very old. Only seventy-four, but she's in a...home."

"Like a nursing home?"

Bev sighed, "Not exactly. She's in a psychiatric hospital about an hour from here."

I wanted to scream, "She was only an hour from me? WHY DID I NEVER MEET HER?"

Bev sounded nervous, "I told you, she's in a psychiatric hospital. Macen you never met her because she isn't...stable."

What did she mean? "She's in an insane asylum?"

Bev was practically whispering, "Well they're not called that anymore."

I couldn't believe this. All my life people were keeping this from me; insisting that they were protecting me. Really they just didn't want to deal with the mess. "I HAD THE RIGHT TO KNOW THIS! WHEN WERE YOU PLANNING ON TELLING ME? WHEN SHE DIED, OR MAYBE NEVER!" I was screaming now, but I didn't care. Mitten his in the corner, afraid of me.

"Sweetie please, what good would it have done? It would have just hurt you more." Bev was pleading with me, hoping I would see it her way.

I tried to stop screaming for her sake, "Being lied to is what hurts. Just send me the name and information of the hospital okay? I'm going there, and you better make sure I can see her."

Bev sounded apprehensive, "Um I-I'll try."

"Thank you."

"Just don't expect a good outcome sweetie, I don't want you to get hurt. I love you."

"Okay," I said hanging up, still unbelievably appalled.

Mitten creeped forward slowly, still uneasy. As I began to pet her, there was a knock on the door.

"Macen," Keith called from the other side.

I got up and flung the door open. Glaring at him, "Just the person I wanted to see"

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

So Gran's locked up, but why? And why did Keith have Renée's box of stuff?

-cc