Trapped In Time

Chapter 6: Whispered Dreams

Summer was nearing its end; not that it made a difference to me. I wasn't going to college, I didn't have the money. I had been putting some away in my bank account in case I ever wanted to. I had no immediate plans to go anywhere, but was I going to work here the rest of my life? The idea stressed me out.

I tried to focus more on cleaning the shower than my future. Spray, scrub, spray, scrub, spray, scrub, don't think, stop thinking, just clean. I took a deep breath, and immediately regretted it. The scent of cleaning supplies made me dizzy. I stood up and gathered my supplies to take back to the storage closet.

When I stepped outside of the room I could feel the two Hispanic maids' eyes on me. They muttered to each other in quick, fluent, Spanish. I caught the word "puta". I had taken a couple years of Spanish in high school, but had never heard that word before. When I looked in their direction, they quieted and stared at the floor.

Once in the elevator, I took out my phone and googled the word. "Puta- a whore or tramp." My face flushed, the other maids thought I was a slut. I hadn't even realized that they knew about Keith and I. Looking back, it wasn't like we ever put in the effort to hide it. My stomach twisted in knots; a feeling of shame filled me.

I rode the elevator down to the lobby, planning to go grocery shopping. On my way by the front desk, Keith called out to me. "Where're you going?"

I stopped and looked up, now incredibly self-conscious. "Just to get groceries."

He smiled, "Allow me to join you."

"Th-that's ok," I hurried towards the door.

He stopped me, "Macen what's wrong?"

I sighed, "Come with me, I'll explain."

Keith slid into the drivers seat without hesitation. Relieved, I opened the passenger side. He turned the car on, then gave me a look of expectation.

"The two maids were talking and looking at me and one called me a 'puta'. I looked it up and it means whore." I hung my head down, "They think I'm just your harlot or something."

He shook his head, "That's what's bugging you? Why should you care? Those two are incredibly old-fashioned! We can't expect them to understand what we have together." He stared straight at me; able to drive perfectly without looking at the road. "Macen, I love you."

It was like everything inside me was set off like fireworks. Those words rang beautifully in my ears. I darted my eyes away from his steady gaze, "Well you shouldn't." I muttered.

He looked a little hurt, "Why do you say that?" His voice was calm...caring.

Suddenly I was so overwhelmed, "Because I don't know what the hell I'm doing! With you! With my life! I came here hoping to uncover something about my mom, but all I've done is become a damn PUTA!" I was breathing heavily now, and most likely crying. I honestly couldn't tell.

The car slowly came to a halt. Keith unbuckled his seat belt and grabbed me. At first I was afraid, but then his arms surrounded me in a comforting embrace. "Now what's this about your mom?"

So I told him. How she killed herself shortly after having me, how I never thought I could hate someone so much and love them even more at the same time. "It just sucks because there are never any answers. You want to be angry, and just not give a shit. Yet you still love them, and because you've never met them you idolize them. Paint them as this perfect person, when really you have no clue. I wish I could have known her, at least a little."

Keith didn't speak, just listened. He held me, and kissed me on the forehead. Some of my worries just seemed to melt away, not all of them, but some. For today, some was enough. The building pressure I had been putting on myself had decreased. I could breathe a little easier.

I sat in the car while Keith went in to get my groceries. It was getting later and the summer air was heating the car to a comfortably warm temperature. Without meaning to, I dozed off.

I dreamt that this woman was running. She had thick dark hair and a look of panic on her face. It was one of those dreams where you don't really play a part; you're just watching it unfold.

I couldn't see who she was running from, but I could hear him. At least it sounded like a him. He was yelling something over and over again, getting louder, gaining on the woman. "Renée, RENÉE! STOP!"

Looking at the woman's face again, I realized it was my mom. She was running, but from what? It started to rain and she ran harder. She was now being chased through a crowd of people; they seemed to be blind to her. She was clutching something to her chest under her coat-

The car door opening jolted me awake. I jumped, banging my head on the roof in the process.

Keith laughed, "Ouch, you ok?" Seeing my face he stopped, "What's wrong?"

I shook my head wanting to clear my head. "It was nothing, just a silly dream." I was shaking, but I tried to hide it.

Keith started the car, "No worries Macen. I'll get you home."

Home. The hotel, was that my home now? I guess so. I hadn't ever been too lucky in the home department. Linda's was the only one, and that didn't last long. So yes, the hotel was home. Keith was home. The idea was so reassuring.

I leaned back and closed my eyes. Rain started to drizzle, and Keith switched the radio on. It was mostly static; I didn't recognize the song. With the comfort of his presence, I began to drift off.

I could have imagined it, but I think I mumbled something to him, "I love you."

I wasn't sure if I really said it; maybe I did, but it was too quiet to tell. It didn't matter. I knew it was true.

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She loves him! What do you think the dream meant?

-cc