Shut up // Judd Birch x reader

46: the test

We lay in bed talking about everything and nothing at the same time for the rest of the evening, before I got up to go to the bathroom. Judd grabbed me, trying to pull me down so that I would stay with him a little longer, this was a daily reoccurrence so I wasn't too bothered by it, instead I shrugged him off and walked out.

Today was the day I was finally going to return home, and I couldn't be more excited. I knew that by now my dad was well gone by now and I couldn't wait to get back and give Jessi a huge hug. Judd had said time and time again that he didn't want me to go back home but that was just him being clingy, which was nice but at the same time could get very annoying.

I walked into the bathroom and began brushing my teeth. Suddenly I felt the need to throw up, dropping my toothbrush in the sink and sprinting to the toilet seat. I leant my head into the toilet and started throwing up my guts practically, or at least that's what it felt like. I frowned, I couldn't have caught a stomach bug...surely not. My mind suddenly went crazy and began thinking of all the possibilities but it always narrowed to one conclusion. It was impossible though, we wore a condom and we were careful. Maybe not careful enough though, so I decided it would be a smart idea to take a pregnancy test.

Before I could even get up from the toilet, Judd barged into the bathroom and jogged over to where I was hunched. I groggily lifted my head and looked at him with a bewildered expression plastered on my dumbass face. "What happened?" He asked concerned. Before  he could say anything else though I felt the wave of queasiness wash over me and I hunched over the toilet again, ready to throw up.

He pulled my hair back and waited patiently for me to throw up, but nothing came out. Yet when I turned to look at him he looked deathly pale. "Fuck." I said and we both suddenly came to realize what the situation could be.

"You better get rid of it." Was the first thing he said after I sat back up, not feeling queasy anymore.
"Trust me, nothing I want more." I replied, grabbing my stomach and punching it. Judd grabbed my hand and stopped me from doing it again.
"I'll go and buy a test from the 7/11." He began searching through the cabinet to see if perhaps there were any there, but surprisingly there wasn't just a random pregnancy test lying around. I wanted to go and ask Leah, maybe she could help me as I was starting to get a bit embarrassed.
"I'm going back home." I said eventually gritted my teeth. I glanced at Judd to see him basically doing the same but he was chewing on his fingernail angrily.
"Not until we see if you're actually preg-"
"Don't even say it." I snapped, suddenly feeling very angry for no reason. I wasn't ready for motherhood.

"I can't wait to see my grandchildren run around." My mum whispered as I lay curled up in her arms. The bed creaked a little because of both our weights on the weak frame.
"I think you'd be the best grandma." I replied with a warm smile. Snuggling further into her chest. It was a warm night and the moon was shining through the hospital blinds. My dad had gone out to the hospital cafe to grab a coffee. I hated to think it but my mother was probably never going to see her grandchildren, the doctors said she didn't have much longer.
"I love you my little baby, you'll always be my baby remember that." She spoke softly into my  hair and began stroking it with her hand whilst holding mine with the other one. She squeezed my hand affectionately and I turned around to look at her. I hadn't noticed that she had begun to cry but I could now see the tears trickling from her eyes.

"I'm never having children." I muttered to myself, not wanting to think about my deceased mother in this moment.
"What did you say?" Judd asked, having not properly heard what I just said. I shook my head and told him not to worry about it. He frowned and flushed the toilet before helping me walk back to his bedroom.

I began chucking my stuff into my rucksack that I'd need for a couple of days, knowing that eventually I would come back to the Birch residence after those couple of days. Judd rushed by my side and took my rucksack out of my hands. "Come on, you can do this when we get back from the store." He said rubbing circles on my back with the palm of his hand. I nodded and bit my lip, glad that at least he wasn't freaking out. I was also happy that we were on the same page about everything, we weren't ready for a child.

We hopped into the car and just as quickly as we arrived, we left with the test. When we got home I sprinted to the bathroom and did the test. My hands were shaking and I closed my eyes and waited for the results of the test, I decided I would open my eyes in a couple of minutes because surely I would have the results by then. I clutched the test in one hand and began breathing heavily, Judd started banging on the door telling me to let him in but I ignored him and focused on getting my breath back.
"(Y/n)?" Leahs voice called out from the other side of the door, she sounded worried and then I heard Judd telling her to fuck off, I really hoped that she wouldn't leave though. The situation was becoming hectic.

So I opened my eyes.