Shut up // Judd Birch x reader

42: Judd Birch

-Judd's Point of View- (The parts in italic are flashbacks :)) 

(Y/n) was sent home, but I obviously went back with her. The whole reason why I had gone on this dumb trip in the first place was to spend time with her, otherwise I would've stayed at home- I didn't really care if the trip was mandatory or not. 

Deep down I was embarrassed by the words I had said to (Y/n) that evening, not because they weren't true but because I had been so honest with her. The truth was that when I looked at her I didn't feel alone, I felt at home. She was the most beautiful girl I had ever seen and I don't think I'll ever be able to have another relationship with a girl if it wasn't her. Just the thought of the evening that I had spent alone made my stomach drop. 

I arrived home angrily, (Y/n) had been ignoring me all day and I didn't understand why. My mind flashed back to the events of the day, trying to analyse each moment to understand why she could be treating me like this. I opened the door to my room just to see it practically empty, my heart dropped and I began looking around to try and find (y/n)'s things, because her suitcase was missing. "No." I mumbled to myself and began turning my room upside down to try and find any signs of her things, maybe she had put them in my wardrobe? I thought to myself and slammed open the doors to my wardrobe just to see my things only. "WHAT THE FUCK!" I shouted angrily and grabbed  the doors to the cupboard and angrily ripping them off with all my strength, the cupboard made a loud banging noise and the door came off. I panted heavily and grabbed my phone, trying to call her. It went straight to voicemail and I threw my phone across the room. Luckily it didn't crack- which admittedly wasn't that satisfying. 

Suddenly someone knocked on my door, judging from the lightness of the knock I guessed it was Nick. "What do you want Nick." I asked angrily, not being able to hold back the emotion in my voice. 
"I heard a bang-"
"Fuck off." I seethed and heard the pitter patter of his footsteps quickly moving away and going somewhere else. I didn't want to talk to anyone right now. All I wanted was to have her in my arms. My legs buckled and I crumpled to the floor, with my head in my hands. I didn't want to cry, I just wanted to know that she was ok and that she was going to come back to me. I hadn't realised that tears were leaking into my hands and that's when I knew I had fallen inexplicably in love with this girl. 

A shiver ran down my spine at the thought of my own desperation. Right now we were lying down in bed and she was in my arms, she felt my shiver and looked up at me with her cute curious eyes. "What's up." She said, I shook my head and told her not to worry, but squeezed her tightly to remind myself that she was with me. (Y/n) gripped onto my tightly as well and asked if I wanted to put on a movie. I nodded and she grabbed the Laptop from my bedside table and opened it, typing in Netflix and pulling up a random film to watch. We sat up and I placed her in between my legs so that she was comfy and could lie down on my chest. My heart fluttered when she snuggled in comfortably and I hoped she couldn't tell how nervous I was to have her back with me. 

"Your heart is beating so fast." She mumbled turning around to face me, I gave her an unfazed look, not breaking my facade for a second. I couldn't let her know how I was feeling right now after having opened up so much during the school trip. 
"Stupid retarded faggot." I muttered, grabbing her by her waist and pulling her towards me. I knew that I should probably stop calling her that but I couldn't help it, it was like an automatic response whenever she said something stupid or embarrassing.  
"H-How- you know what never mind." She stuttered, I smiled and kissed her softly on the cheek, but she grabbed my face before I could go back to sitting the way I was before and slammed my lips onto hers passionately. This was a feeling I'd never get tired or sick of, the feeling of her chest against mine, feeling her heart beat so clearly, the way our bodies would move in sync. 

I called Julian, after getting his number off (Y/n)'s phone. He picked up almost instantly. "Who's this?" He answered very harshly. 
"It's Judd."
"Oh, why are you calling me?" He sounded annoyed which pissed me off even more. I had finally recomposed myself and was sitting on my bed, trying in all ways to get in contact with (Y/n), my final option was to call her best friend. The fact that he was a boy did annoy me a little bit but I knew he was gay so in a way it didn't bother me that much. 
"Where's (Y/n)?" I asked in my low pissed off voice, there was a moment of silence before he replied. 
"She's with me. Now let's get straight to the point, because she's told me what happened from her point of view but I want to hear yours." It instantly clicked what was wrong and I felt stupid for not having realised it earlier, I could've saved myself a lot of time. I was happy that Julian was giving me an opportunity to speak though. 
"She heard the conversation that I had in the corridor didn't she?" I asked, just to confirm my suspicions. He replied with a simple, yes, so I began to explain everything in detail. Maybe Julian could convince (y/n) to at least answer her phone. As soon as I had finished Julian let out a sigh of relief. 
"I knew something like that had happened, (y/n)'s so quick to assume. Well, in my opinion, you've got to tell her that yourself so come to the school trip tomorrow and sit next to her on the bus, then when you've got the chance, tell her everything." He told me exactly what to do and I thanked him, but before I hung up I said one more thing: 
"Look after her Julian."