'Tis the Season

Chapter 28: Wonderland

Chapter Twenty-Eight: Wonderland

"Can we take a walk?" Carson asks me. All the hope I had about him reciprocating my love for him goes out the window with that sentence, but I try to make myself seem unaffected.

"Yeah, sure."

I don't bother to grab my coat, I just pull my shoes on and follow him out the door. He leads me down the street, not looking at me and not saying anything.

This is why I didn't grab my coat- I knew I was going to need something to focus on other than Carson's reaction, and the way my body is slowly turning into a popsicle is the perfect distraction.

After a few minutes, I realize we're heading into the park that Carson took me to for our snow day. I really wish we weren't; I don't want that memory tainted with his rejection. I trudge on behind him miserably, grinding my teeth to keep them from chattering and wrapping my arms around myself.

Eventually, Carson stops in front of a bench. The seat has had all the snow brushed off onto the ground, so Carson gestures for me to sit but I shake my head. I don't want to sit, I just want him to speak.

Finally, finally, Carson's eyes meet mine.

"Today has been... unpleasantly eventful so far," he starts and I nod absently, shifting in place from the cold and my nerves.

"I'm sorry that you had to tell me that under those circumstances. But, I think that maybe this can still be saved. I want you to forget everything that has happened today for me, okay? Forget that you told me anything."

I sigh and give Carson an exasperated look. "I can't do that Carson. I love you. If you didn't want to hear it, fine. That's understandable, but I love you and I am not going to pretend that I don't."

I'm the one avoiding eye contact now, so I'm surprised when he lets out one of his signature chuckles. I almost want to peek to see if he's happy or if he's laughing at me, but the possibility it could be the latter scares me too much.

"Okay, stubborn girl. Have it your way then. But I want to do this my way." I hear him take in a deep breath before placing his cold fingers under my chin and tilting it up, forcing us to make eye contact.

"Naomi. I am absolutely, consuming, madly in love with you too." My heart stops.

"I fell in love with you the second I spotted you watching my family steal your Christmas tree, even if I didn't know it yet. The first time I wanted to say I love you was on our first date, when you were dancing and singing at the top of your lungs like a crazy person, but I didn't let myself believe I had truly fallen yet. I admitted it to myself the day your mother came and tried to knock you down, when we were in the yard hugging each other after she'd left. I knew I loved you with my whole heart and that I would protect you from everything. And I've been trying to figure out the right way to create the perfect moment to say it for the first time, but you beat me to it. I love you. So much."

Carson barely finished his sentence when I pounce on him. I wrap my legs around his waist and kiss him deeply, a smile stretching across my lips. Whatever this feeling is inside of me right now, this feeling caused by hearing him tell me he loves me back, it is the most wonderful, powerful, indescribable thing I have ever felt.

Carson sits on the bench with me still tangled around him tightly, pulling me closer on his lap as we kiss. Today has been a nightmare, but right now it's gone. It's erased from my memory. I don't care about the changes that are going to have to be made later on, I don't care that I'm absolutely freezing. Carson loves me and kissing him right now is all that matters.

When we finally pull away, Carson wraps his arms around me to warm me up a little as I start to shiver more noticeably. I see him frown, realizing that I have no coat. He tries to take off his sweatshirt but I won't let him. I'm happy to just burrow in his arms like this for now.

I take a second to bask in our happiness before asking my dreaded question. "Car, do you think we should talk about what happens after the holidays?"

He shakes his head gently. "I definitely do think that we need to talk about it soon but not now. Right now, whatever happens after the holidays doesn't matter to me. It doesn't change the fact that right here, at this moment, I am so in love with you I don't even know what to do with myself. And right now, despite the inevitable changes that our relationship will have to face soon, I am certain that we are forever. So let's just stay here like this for a bit and figure everything else out later. This is our moment, let's just enjoy it."

❆ ❆ ❆

The next couple of days were hard, I won't lie. I had decided it was best if I went to stay at Mountain Ridge for the remainder of my winter break. Emilia and Ryan made it clear that they didn't want me to feel uncomfortable in their home and that no one was trying to kick me out, but since the Sanderses were still so graciously offering to let me stay there, I figured it was best for everyone if I wasn't around all day every day anymore.

Connor felt very guilty for the whole thing and I tried to assure him that I had made my decision with everyone's best interest, including my own, in mind. He asked me if I was upset with him, which I assured him that I am definitely not, and I promised that as soon as the dust settles we would talk and iron everything out that was left unsaid.

Carson had mixed feelings. He didn't want me to be staying across the hall from Connor anymore, but he also didn't want me to leave. He came up with the idea to stay at Mountain Ridge with me, but I encouraged him to stay with his family as long as he could. I also made him promise to try and patch up his relationship with Connor now that I was going to be leaving.

My first night at Mountain Ridge, I was lonely. I loved the room Mr. Sanders had prepared for me, and the hotel itself was very cozy and charming as always, but I missed the feel of Carson being one room over- or better, cuddled next to me. He texted me at four in the morning that he was having a rough night too, and told me that for the remainder of my stay here he would be sleeping over. I didn't have any oppositions.

When I woke up, I tried to appreciate everything the hotel could offer me that a regular home could not. It was nice to be able to shower without worrying about using up all the hot water, and being able to order room service for breakfast was of course a major plus for me. Starting my morning with very little human interaction was strange to me now, but I also found it to be very relaxing.

However, as the day went on I began to really miss the constant noise from Carson's home. I felt a bit like Alice in Wonderland, like I'd stepped through a portal and the everyday routine I had gotten used to and fallen in love with was turned upside down on me.

I tried to keep busy. The hotel had a huge heated pool, so I went out to buy a swimsuit and then swam some laps. It'd been a long time since I worked out and I decided it was time to do something active again, especially now that room service was constantly a call away. After my swim, I unpacked a bit more, watched a movie, and attempted to text Madeline again. I got no reply.

I was just about to go stir crazy when there was a knock on my door. I opened it to reveal Carson standing there with a bouquet of roses and a cheesy grin on his face.

"Hello, my love. I'm here for my sleepover."

I pulled him into the room and gave him a huge hug. "I love you," I mutter against his chest. He chuckles and pulls me closer.

"I love you too."

A/N: Hi guys! This chapter was super hard to write omg. I have a checklist going of all my loose ends that I have to wrap up in the final three chapters so I'm hoping that I will be able to fit all that in and still make those chapters happy and lighter ones since we're coming to the end here. If you're enjoying please consider voting for my story! Love you all, see you tomorrow!