Hazbin Hotel Dating Scenarios

Crack

A/N:
Here's some crack for you. I'll be making more crack until I can finally come up with another chapter. NSFW warning. Toodles!

Angel Dust: Oh My God, Harmony's lonely! We gotta take care of her, love her, and treat her like the queen she is!

Valentino: Harmony's lonely?! Who the fuck do I have to kill?!

Vox: Take it easy, boys. I'm gonna cuddle her now. Don't fuckin' come near us.

Alastor: Listen here, you modern piece of shit. I am coming up there to cuddle her, so would you kindly fuck off.

Arackniss: Do ya assholes know nothin' about personal space and leavin' her alone for five seconds? She's moody because she had a bad day. God fuckin' damn it. Also if ya touch or even think about comin' near Harmony in a sexual way, I'll fuckin' kill ya.

Valentino: Harmony's your ex girlfriend though. Did you two get back together or what?

Arackniss: So what if we fuckin' did? That's none of your goddamn business!

Vox: Hey, at least now we know which two people were fuckin' each other last night!

Valentino: About damn time we knew who made Harmony moan that much. Heh, that was entertaining.

Arackniss: Vox. Don't you fuckin' dare expose me, ya piece of shit! You weren't supposed to hear anyway!

Tom Trench: We didn't need to know in the first place! Also, Arackniss. You two were loud as shit, so we all heard every single moment of it!

Valentino: Oh, Nissy. If only I'd known, I would've joined you. I mean, I wanna sleep with Harmony so yeah.

Angel Dust: To be honest, I wanna sleep with her too. I hear she's good in bed.~

Vox: Same here.

Tom Trench: Same, not gonna lie.

Alastor: Same here to be honest.

Arackniss: Fuck off, Harmony's my girl! I'm the only one who can touch her like that!

Valentino: Yeah yeah, whatever.

Harmony Rose: I- What the fuck?! I already regret scrollin' up.

Arackniss: Heya, toots.

Harmony Rose: Hey, Niss.~

*Arackniss and Harmony went offline.*

Valentino: Well, fuck.

Tom Trench: Shit, here we go again.

Vox: Called it. I fuckin' called it.

Alastor: I suggest you tell everyone in the hotel to get their ear plugs. Last thing we need is to let Charlie hear or see them. She will be traumatized for the rest of her immortal lifespan.

Vox: Agreed. We really don't need Lucifer tryin' to kill us for doin' that shit to her.

Angel Dust: I have one important question though. Out of all the demons in Hell, why Niss?!

All except Angel: Right?!