A Sun and Star [dreamnotfound]

Crush

He paused before asking so softly I almost didn't hear it,

"Do you like someone?"

***

I felt my stomach flip after hearing his words. Why was he asking this? No, I was overthinking it. Friends ask each other this type of stuff all the time. It was actually surprising that we had never talked about our love lives before. Probably because it would have felt weird like it does now. 

"Um I don't know."

God, it was painfully obvious that was a lie. Or was it? There wasn't anyone that I knew in real life who I liked. I guess it had always been that way. I had never really been interested in that many people romantically except for some girl many years ago in high school. But I even then lost interest in her right after we started dating. I barely know what it feels like to have a crush. So was it true that I had a crush on someone? George. What. Why did his name pop into my head? It must be because we were talking. I mean could you imagine if I actually liked him? Just the idea made me laugh internally. No way, he's my best friend.

"Dream," George said in his usual knowing voice, interrupting me from my thoughts. Fuck, he knew I wasn't telling the truth.

"Well, I may be developing feelings for someone," I admitted. Why would I say that? Was I developing feelings for someone? It was then that I remembered the butterflies, the blushing, the wanting to see his face and hear his voice all the time. Was I developing feelings for... George? 

"Oh... is it someone I know?" he asked. Why did he sound... sad? I must just be imagining it.

"Um... kind of. But I mean I don't even know if I like them. It could just be that we have been friends for such a long time that I'm confusing platonic love with romantic love, you know?" Why the hell was I telling him all this?? He just stayed silent after that which I took as my cue to go on. Before I could stop myself, I started telling him everything. "I mean I want to see their face all the time. I love their smile. I love their voice. They make me feel happy when no one else can, not even Patches. They give me this feeling of... familiarity; like when I see them this warm feeling blossoms in my chest and everything just feels like it's going to be okay. But I can't tell them how I feel, even if it's just platonic. Our relationship just isn't like that and I'm scared I would freak them out. I don't want to ruin what we have by weirding them out." Wow, alright. I didn't even know I thought all that. Did I really feel that way about George?

"Wow. They sound great," was all he said before ending the call. Huh? Why did he sound so mad? And why did he end the call without any sort of a goodbye? I mean, he asked the question so why did he get mad with my answer? Maybe I was just talking for too long or something and he thought I was being self-absorbed. Or... was he jealous? No no no no those are dangerous thoughts. Before I could dig myself into another hole I got up from my chair to find something to do. That was when I heard my stomach growl. The only thing I had to eat since morning was an apple during the stream. I looked at my phone. 4:00 pm. I headed over to the kitchen to make myself some lunch. Everything was so hectic in my life with George and work. It was the time for my perfect meal, a good ol' bacon sandwich. It was my comfort food that I always had when I was younger. My mom would make it for me whenever I got sad. I smiled, reminiscing at the memory.

I finally finished making the sandwich and just as I was about to dig in my phone started to buzz. Sapnap was calling the group chat with me and George. Shit. Did I really want to talk to George after the weird conversation we just had? Not really, but I also didn't want to just leave my friends hanging so I eventually picked up the phone.

"Took you a while," retorted Sap.

"Sorry, I was just cooking. Why'd you call?" I replied.

"Okay well guys, I was thinking about something."