Help Me Find the Words: A Sonia x Gundham Tale

Day 20

The sun beat down upon us, warming our skin, the white sand, and the blue ocean. I basked in the joyful noise of my friends laughing and splashing in the sea. Everyone was here: Mahiru, Mikan, Ibuki, and Hiyoko were building sandcastles. Fuyuhiko and Peko were lounging in beach chairs under an umbrella, smiling as they talked amongst themselves. Akane and Nekomaru were running through the shallow waters, chasing each other. Gundham and I sat under the shade of a palm tree, spread across beach towels, the Devas eating seeds, my head on his shoulder as we huddled together reading. This is what our 'class trip' should have been. The scene was so carefree. I finally felt content. The horrific memories will affect us for the rest of our lives, but we can at least try to move forward, and live happy lives from now on.

Gundham dramatically flipped randomly through the book, stopping on a page as if he happened to stumble upon it, but I could tell by his mischievous smile that he intended to choose this particular page. "Ah, yes, this sonnet looks particularly interesting," he gave the top of my head a quick kiss before clearing his throat to read.

"'Shall I compare thee to a summer's day?
Thou art more lovely and more temperate:
Rough winds do shake the darling buds of May,
And summer's lease hath all too short a date;
Sometime too hot the eye of heaven shines,
And often is his gold complexion dimm'd;
And every fair from fair sometime declines,
By chance or nature's changing course untrimm'd;
But thy eternal summer shall not fade,
Nor lose possession of that fair thou ow'st;
Nor shall death brag thou wander'st in his shade,
When in eternal lines to time thou grow'st:
So long as men can breathe or eyes can see,
So long lives this, and this gives life to thee.'"

"Hmm, how interesting that you happened to read this poem in particular," I teased

"Well it is quite a coincidence that it reminds me of you, is it not?" He teased back, kissing my head once again

I smiled and rolled my eyes, "Gundham, you are too sweet for your own good," and I gave him a gentle peck on the lips.

I sighed as I nestled further into his arms, my heart warmed by his presence as much as the sun warmed my skin.

The Devas crawled back to us, seeking our attention. We happily obliged, giving them little scratches. As we sat in this moment of bliss, I could not help but get distracted when I heard an anxious voice in the distance approach us. "I'm still kinda freaking out, man," sounds like Kazuichi.

"You got this, alright? And I'll be here for you no matter what happens; you know that," That sounds like Hajime.

I looked up and saw the two boys whose voices I heard walking closer toward us, but Hajime stuck behind, watching as Kazuichi tried to calm himself down as he moved.

This was my first time seeing him in about a week, excluding mealtime. To be fair, I had been spending much more time with Gundham ever since we confessed our mutual feelings, but I still tried to make time for our other friends. In all the time I spent lounging by the pool, making time to exercise, or just going for walks with my friends, I had not once run into Kazuichi. "H-hey, Gundham... Sonia," no title. Just my name.

"Hello, Kazuichi," I said with curiosity

"It is good to see you," Gundham did not wish to ignore him, either

"Y-yeah man, you too," He was squeezing his arm rather tightly, "I was uh, wondering if I could talk to Sonia? Like, in private? I-if that's okay."

Kazuichi looked at me, waiting for my answer. I looked at Gundham, who nodded, making my decision easier. "Um, yes, of course," I gently smiled at Kazuichi, handed two of the Devas off to Gundham, and he kissed the back of my hand before I followed Kazuichi.

I caught up to him as he walked relatively aimlessly across the sand. His hands were in the pockets of his swim shorts and his eyes stared at his feet. I started feeling anxious just looking at him as we walked together in silence. "Kazuichi?"

"Yeah?"

"You wanted to speak with me," I reminded him

"Right. Right," He took a deep breath and finally stopped walking. I stopped too, and looked to him expectantly, "I, uh... want to apologize to you."

"Huh?" I was genuinely taken by surprise.

"Some friends helped knock some sense into me," he continued, and I could tell he was having trouble looking at me, "I've been... a complete ass. I uh— what did Mahiru call it? Objecty... objectifying!"

"Objectifying?"

"Yeah, I uh, treated you like an object. Like, I had a vision of you in my head that I projected on to you, instead of learning who you really are," he was wringing his hands together, "To tell you the truth, I've gone through something kinda similar, and I know how unfair it is. It took me a bit to realize what I had been doing, and I couldn't believe I was acting the way I was. I don't expect you to forgive me. I just wanted to let you know that I know how disgusting I was, and I never want to be that person again."

I was at a loss for words. After all the weeks of harassment and unwanted advances and comments during the Killing Game, and then when our school memories came back, I remembered years of similar instances in classrooms and hallways— Mahiru and Hajime helped him empathize. And I had no idea he had been treated similarly in the past, as well. He has never been this candid. Perhaps we can move forward. "Kazuichi," I began, "thank you for being honest with me. And thank you for apologizing. I do believe I am able to forgive you, on one condition."

"Yeah? What's that?" He looked at me with fear in his eyes

I smiled and took his hands, giving them reaffirming squeezes. "I would like us to start over. I would like to be your friend."

I meant it. We are all living on this island indefinitely, and I do not want to have grievances with anyone. Kazuichi and I already had multiple strenuous experiences tying us together, as do many of the other citizens of this island. But Kazuichi and I were two of the few who made it through. We were two of the five who managed to survive completely. We had been through so much together, and I do not wish to cast him aside because of his past behavior, especially now that he has attempted to make amends.

He smiled back and squeezed my hands in return. "Yeah. I'd like that," he let out a small laugh, as well, lifting my spirits higher, "Maybe now I can talk with Gundham, too. I kept avoiding him out of jealousy, and I've really been regretting that. He has to be a cool guy if you like him so much, right?"

My eyes lit up and I started bouncing in place, "Yes! We could all be friends! Gundham is indeed very tubular!"

Kazuichi laughed again, "Sonia, I hate to break it to you, but no one has said 'tubular' unironically for like 20 years."

Before I could refute, I heard a voice yell out over a megaphone from across the beach, "Aaaaalright, guys and gals and everyone that doesn't apply to," it was Teruteru, "Lunch is ready! We got veggie patties, fried fish, and of course, piping hot franks— all grilled to perfection by yours truly."

"You hungry?" Kazuichi asked me

"Absolutely!"

We met up with everyone at the picnic tables Akane and Nekomaru had set up, and let Teruteru serve us. We both sat in between Gundham, to his surprise. Hajime gave Kazuichi a 'thumbs up' from across the table, and Kazuichi gave one back.

Looking around, I felt the happiest I had been in a long time. If this was how life was going to go from now on, I was looking forward to it: being surrounded by friends, with a partner I have grown to truly care for. The future is bright.