The Sun's Rays

Existential Breakupism

I really don't want to get out of bed.

I really don't want to get up and face the day.

I can't face Dale, or anyone else today.

I just need to be here, accompanied by my own thoughts and being stuck into the existential crisis that is my life.

I rolled over and looked at my alarm clock that read 6:32 AM. It would be another thirty minutes and Dale would come and get me for the school day. It would be thirty minutes until I either face him, or hide and face him later.

I rolled over again and faced the ceiling. I wonder why he even played me in the first place. Was it some act of revenge? I don't remember doing anything to him. What if this is about my parents? That doesn't make any sense because he wouldn't be here if it wasn't for my parents.

I rolled over and looked at my clock again. 6:33 AM.

This is crazy, I can't watch the minutes of my life waste. I then removed the comfortable blankets and got ready for the day.

***

I stood in the middle of my room, dressed for the day at 6:58. I faced the door and waited for the inevitable. He's going to come. I have to talk to him. What am I going to say? Oh god, I'm going to throw up. I'm going to explode. I don't even know...

7:08 AM

He's not coming.

I felt a pit in my stomach. He's not coming. Why? I didn't cheat on my girlfriend. 

But, Prim, you did tell him to screw off yesterday. A voice whispered in my head.

Shut up. I said back.

I then proceeded to grab my schoolbag, and go into the hallway. I walked for a little longer, before coming across the cafeteria. Do I really want to eat?

...

Yes.

I did a quick scan of the room and concluded that there was no sign of Dale, so I concluded that it was safe enough to grab my lunch tray and sit down across from Rye at the table. She smiled up at me, but frowned when she saw my face.

What's wrong? She signed

Nothing. I signed back.

She gave me a disbelieving look but thankfully dropped the matter. I continued eating my breakfast when I saw a tray slam into the table next to me. I flinched. It can't be him. Anyone but him. I slowly looked up to find that it was Haymitch and Amy. Oh thank God. Haymitch and Amy sat down. Their shoulders were touching as they leaned over to put food in their mouth. A pang went through my stomach at the thought that they used to be Dale and I.

Shut up, Primrose you don't care about him.

Yes I do. I answered back

I stubbornly pushed that thought away. I know, how mature of you Prim. Ignoring your problems just like every other teenager in those soppy love fics that are your guilty pleasure (AN: Basically Phanfiction) , but dammit I really wanted to be a teenager for once.

I was about to pop a strawberry in my mouth when Haymich whispered in my ear.

"I talked to Dale this morning. I know that you're upset with him, but you need to talk this out with him. He doesn't know what he did wrong to make you so angry."

My eyes flashed with anger as I felt fire grow in my stomach.

I snarled back "He knows exactly what he did to me."