Happier

Numb

Ahsoka's POV

There was yelling and blaster fire. The temple was on fire and clones where running around shooting the Jedi. They take them down one by one as if they haven't served next to them their whole life. I run down the hallways trying to stop the clones from killing more Jedi, but every hallway I go down, all there is are the bodies of Jedi laying there. I remember the younglings and how they where told that if anything happened to stay in the council room. I run as fast as I can, but once I reach the room I am too late. Most of the younglings lay dead on the floor. There is one youngling left. I dark figure was standing in front of him. I see the figure ignite their light saber and get ready to strike the boy. I try to run over and protect him but I can't move. All I can do is watch as the figure pushes their lightsaber right through the boy's chest. I try to scream but I can't, I just watch as the boys body falls to the ground.

I wake up covered in sweat and panting. I look over at my clock and see that it is 5:00 in the morning. I slept only a few hours but that is good enough for me. I swing my legs over the side of the bed and sit there for a moment. Was that dream an actual dream or a vision. I get up and walk into the fresher. I turn on the sink and splash cold water on my face. I look at myself in the mirror and see that I look older than I used to. My eyes have grown a little duller and small dark circles are around my eyes.

I get dressed and I decide to go and get my new outfit. I know that the seamstress is always open early in the mornings and barely anyone would be awake so I wouldn't really have to talk to anyone. I head out of my quarters and end up spacing off while walking to the seamstress. I don't even realize that I arrived till I hear some bustling from inside the seamstress' office.

I knock on the door and she opens it immediately. She rushes me in and she seems excited. " Let's just say I am quite proud of this outfit. I haven't done one like this ever and it will fit you nicely." she says. She pushes me in a dressing room and there is an outfit hanging on a hanger. I try it on and it is comfortable and it covers up more than any of my outfits have. I really do like it.

I walk out of the dressing room and see that the seamstress is giddy. " It looks lovely on you" she says. I thank her and she gives me two copies of the same outfit for 'backups' as she says. I thank her and hurry back to my room. Once I have put my outfits away I notice the cloak that I have kept from my first mission with Anakin.

It makes me think about Anakin and his new Padawan. How he looked so much happier with her. Obi-Wan looked happier with her too. It makes me think of how close padme and I had gotten and how she felt like my older sister and mother. I decide to go visit her and then at least I will know that someone is still happy with me. I go and get a speeder then head to Padme's apartment.

Once I get near the apartment I sense something but I can't tell what it is. I get closer and I see a some people out on her landing bay. I stop my speeder, out of the way of traffic, and I take out my binoculars. I look through them and I see something that just about makes me drop my binoculars.

There is Padme sitting on a blanket laughing, she looks so happy. Anakin and his new Padme are doing something, it looks like they are play fighting. Padme and Anakin's smile look twice as wide as I had ever seen them. No one had ever been happy with me. They couldn't wait to get rid of me. Clouds start rolling in and it starts to rain. I look through the binoculars again and see that they are all laughing and running inside.

I don't really want to go back to the temple at the moment so I decide to drive around in the rain. Ever since I wasn't Anakin's Padawan anymore I had loved the rain and just standing outside in it. I didn't care that I could get sick. I decide it is time to head back to the temple but I really want to stay in the rain. I remember the balcony that my quarters had. I park my speeder and grab a cloak so I don't get weird looks for walking around soaking wet. Once I reach my quarters I throw my cloak off and go outside to my balcony and sit on the railing, tilting my head up and letting the rain drops fall on my face.

I hear a knock on my door and I can sense that it is Obi-Wan. " Its open " I yell. I hear the door open and footsteps coming closer to me. " For force sakes Ahsoka you are going to get sick" Obi-Wan says. " I don't care, this calms me" I say. I turn around and hop off the railing. I grab a towel that was sitting on my bed and start to dry myself off, " Did you need something Master Kenobi" I ask. " I just decided to come and check up on you, I saw you yesterday. you notice Anakin and turned around and went the other way and I wanted to see if you are alright" he says. " Well can I at least get cleaned up before I sit down and talk to you," I say. He nods and sits down on the couch.

I grab a pair of leggings and a loose tank top then head into my fresher. I decide to quickly wash off in the shower then I get dressed throwing my other outfit over the door of the shower to dry.

I walk out of the bathroom and head over to sit across from Obi-Wan who I see has made tea while I was in the fresher. He hands me a cup and I thank him.

He looks at me as if telling me to answer the question he had asked me earlier. I sigh, " I see Anakin has a new Padawan" I say. " yes, Nellie" he says nodding. " she must be the best Padawan ever, I mean she is better than me. I can tell that is why Anakin chose her, she doesn't make any mistakes and she follows order" I say. He sighs " That isn't true Ahsoka, you where an amazing Padawan and people always makes mistakes she just hasn't had the moment to yet." he says taking a sip of tea. I scoff " Yeah well if I was such a good Padawan then why did Anakin want to get rid of me. He must have seen her while helping Yoda train younglings and decided that she was a way better Padawan than I could ever have been." I say. " Ahsoka, its not like that" Obi-Wan says.

" yeah well it seems like you where a lot happier with her than I have ever seen you with me" I say. I can tell he feels conflicted to tell me something. He finally sighs and says " I really shouldn't be saying this but honestly that was a fake smile. She seems like a spoiled brat". This really surprised me and I start to laugh and he joins in with me. " I never ever thought that I would hear those words come out of your mouth" I say.

Our laughter dies down and I start to think about how happy Padme was with her. " What is it" Obi-Wan asks. I shake my head, my eyes starting to get glassy. " I just never thought things would turn out like this. I thought once Anakin and I started to get close that nothing could be better, but obviously I it was all fake" I say letting a tear go down my cheek.

Then Obi-Wan does something I never expected, he hugs me, but it feels so nice and loving. I hug back and it feels so nice. He pulls back and puts his hands on either side of my face and looks me in the eyes. " Ahsoka don't think like that. If you ever need someone to talk to just Come straight to me" Obi-Wan says. I nod and he leaves after a few more minutes of talking.

At least I know someone still cares about me.