BURN for Better or Worse (COMPLETED)

Chapter 35

THANDIWE… 

My heart rejoices as my eyes taste the sight of the man I love, I didn’t think I would ever see him again. In my head, it’s been a while since I last saw him, since I have been locked up in this room. He still looks the same, nothing about him has changed. The oversized pants that annoy me and the collared shirt, at this moment I wouldn’t change anything about him. 

I breathe in his structure as he stands at the door way, his thick lips curving into a wide smile which I find strange, Nqaba hardly smiles fully, he simpers…  It doesn’t matter, he’s here to take me away and I couldn’t be happier.

“I knew you’d come for me, Nqaba.” Gratitude and relief leave me, he accepts them with a broadened smile. I have questions at the back of my head, they are far and I can’t reach them. Doubt being at the top of the chain, my heart can’t accept this complaining spirit. It’s too happy that the love of my life has come for me. 

“I’ll always come for you, ndlovukazi yami.” That’s a new one and why am I not okay with him calling me that? I should be elated, right? But there is something about the way he says it, a hidden possessiveness… Entitlement… it’s like he would have nothing else but me and would stop at nothing to have me as his queen. 

“What took you so long?” He’s standing in front of me, his eyes have lost their usual colour. I know these eyes, but today they are different. I can’t get over how unsettling they are, the hope I would see in them is not there. 

“Don’t you know?” His eyebrows raise in question, one I don’t have an answer to. My body jerks as his hand brushes against mine, unpleasant shivers ripple through me. Nqaba is not cold blooded, I know his skin to be warm. 

“I have always been with you, from the beginning and I will never leave you.” The words that are meant to comfort me churn my innards, a great need to throw up arises. Scrunching my teeth, I win in pushing the bile back to obedience. 

“Thank you coming for me Nqaba, Ntuthuko said I will never be free from him. We need to go now, before he comes back.” he gives me a small smile, I don’t want a smile. I want him to get me out of here, I need to be with my son. 

“We’ll go, there is no rush.” He says, his eyes boring into mine. He looks at me like I’m a toy he lost and just found. My whole being swims in an uncomfortable pool, usually I would be happy about it. But not tonight, regretfully, I hate that his eyes are possessive. 

“I don’t understand Biyase…” His hand jolts from mine as if my hand electrocuted him, he takes a few steps away from me, his features scrunching up in pain and a flood of irritation tapping in his eyes. 

“Don’t call me that…” It’s a snap, one I don’t understand, he’s a calm man and so this is new. 

“Why?” My question takes me closer to him, I’m looking for the love that usually illuminates from him into me, it’s not there and I need to feel safe. For the first time his eyes have failed me, there is no security in them. Just a dark hole, hallow and emotionless. 

“Wena ungowami ndlovukazi.” (You’re mine my queen.) 

He says, his hand getting to work, removing my attire from my body. I assist by raising my hands so the garment slips over my head without any hassles.

My head works overtime to figure out how and when we got on the bed, his weight on me deprives me of air, he doesn’t feel the way he normally does, I love Nqaba on top of me, but today I hate this feeling and I want him to get off. I’m not comfortable, the inside of my skin is crawling.