BURN for Better or Worse (COMPLETED)

Chapter 75

BULELWA...

“It’s not what you think Bubu,” Lilian sniffles, trying to help me up from the table I fell on. I push her hands away and she stumbles back, a tiny shriek fleeing her deceitful mouth.
Zizwe is standing tall, furrowed brow and compressed jaw. Eyes gleaming with tears, he stares painfully at me. The betrayal they caused me is indescribable, I opened up to this man and gave him all of me.
“Get out of my house.” Something flashes in his eyes, I don’t see it because it’s wiped away in a jiffy.
“Bulelwa!” Zizwe hardly takes my name, when he does he is usually serious. Like when he told me he loved me last night, at least I think it was serious. If he loved me, he wouldn’t have cheated on me with my mother.
“Gosh! How can I be so stupid?” A painful laugh surges out of my mouth as I give this giant a round of applause. “Great one Zizwe, you played me well.”
“I didn’t play you, I promise.”
“You’re good, I give it to you.”

“I didn’t play you, dammit.” Oh hell no, he does not get to shout at me. Not when he fucked up like this. Everything in me itches with a need to scream and shout, my bones feel like they are about to jump out of my skin. “I’m sorry.”

At his lousy apology, I grab a vase and throw it at him. It makes me angry that he ducks, I want to see him bleed. Zizwe raises his hands in surrender, his eyes are bloodshot red. This bastard better not start crying.

“Bulelwa calm down please, let me explain.” Why the hell is Lilian talking to me? I hate how she is hiding behind Zizwe, she is trying to drive me out of my boots. 
“SHUT UP!” I scream at her. “I don’t want to hear anything from you, Lilian, you should be dead, not my father.” Tears dribble out of her widened eyes.
“You don’t mean that baby, I’m your mother.”

“You are nothing to me,” I hiss under my breath. The declaration hurts, I don’t mean it, but the pain she caused me won’t let me take the words back. “Get out of my house Lilian.”
“Bubu…” She takes a step headed my way, I will kill her if she comes closer.
“I said get the fuck out of my house, I don’t ever want to see your face again.” I don’t want to hear anything from my mother, I want her away from me.
“You’re upset, we will talk when you have calmed down.” Lilian glares at Zizwe and turns to leave, that look should have killed this man standing a few feet away from me.

“I didn’t cheat on you, it happened before I knew you existed.” When did he get this close, close enough to touch and smell him. “I would never hurt you like this, I love you, Buttercup.”   

“It’s over.” My heart cracks tenderly under the bulk of his hurt-filled eyes. A great need to comfort him arises, I fight it. I’m hurt for fuck’s sake, yet I want to take him in my arms and comfort him.
“We just started, Buttercup. How can it be over?” He says shakily, his eyes become foggy with unshed tears.
“I don’t care, we can’t be together. Not after you… you” The thought of his lips kissing my mother makes me gag, his hands caressing her body makes my blood rush to my ears. I turn away from the pain reflecting in his eyes, something I can’t stand to see. Damn you ‘love’, damn you to hell. 

In a split second his arms enfold my body from behind. I feel his face rest on the crook of my neck, the hot breath from his nostrils paints my skin and rushes into my stomach to form crazy tingles. This is not the time.

“I’m not letting you go Buttercup, I just found you please.” Zizwe mumbles against my neck, a warm wet substance pours down my collarbone. I figure it’s his tears, the thought of his eyes watering, painfully twists my heart. 
“You have to let me go Zizwe, we can never be.” I grip his hands to unlock them from my waist, my hands are shaky, body weak and I have no strength to fight this giant. 
“Do you know what you’re talking about? Do you have any idea what you’re saying to me?” Zizwe questions, hurt dripping in his voice. His nose nuzzling my ear. 
“I don’t want it to be like this.” Gosh “You made me lose my mind. Do you know how hard it was for me to open up to you? I don’t know anything about relationships Zizwe, I don’t know how it feels to be cheated on.”