What Happens Behind Closed Doors || Aaron Hotchner x Y/N

Chapter Twelve

This might affect our work dynamic, was the last thing you thought before you fell asleep on the couch far from hotch.

"Hey y/n," a male voice said sweetly while slightly shaking your arm, "Hey you need to get up, we have to get to the police station." You slightly opened your eyes to see hotch standing over you with a sweet and caring look on his face.

"Hey, why didn't you sleep in the bed after last night? I heard you get up but I did not hear you come back," he said cheekily to you because even the mention of last night made him a little bit giddy. "Last night was something else, y/n." It's like all of the coldness and the fights and the yelling completely disappeared from his mind all you could see behind his eyes were happiness.

Geez someone is chipper this morning. You scoffed, rolled your eyes at hotch's bare attempt to show his affection towards you, and walked into the bathroom slamming the door behind you. You had no interest in talking to him after what happened last night. He made you feel like an object he just wanted to shove his dick into.

As you walked into the bathroom you saw yourself and gasped at what had formed. You completely forgot about your hickeys from last night but today they looked like legitimate bruises. The purple and green lines wrapped around your neck that outlined where a hand had been and you ran your fingers over them.

The similar colored circles trailed down your neck, and your eyes followed them down your collarbone, and onto your breasts. You wanted to cry, you felt used, you felt like he only wanted to get in our pants.

"Hey y/n are you ok?" you heard a knock on the door as hotch worried. You sniffled slightly and spoke holding everything back, "Yeah Hotch, I'm okay I just didn't-" your voice broke, "I didn't sleep well." you felt tears stream down your face as you heard the door open.

Hotch looked at you like the idea of you crying would just shatter him into a million pieces. He walked over to you to embrace you into a hug and you pushed him away. "This is because of you," you said panicked when you looked at him with tear-filled eyes that were overwhelmingly stressed.

"I don't know if 'the man' in you can comprehend it but I felt used after last night." you walked away from him and out of the bathroom. "You fucked me silly and then just left me there. I went into the bathroom for five seconds and I came back to you completely asleep." you were upset but you spoke calmly.

Tears streamed down your face as Hotch finally realized what he did. "All I wanted was a little affection after you called me your slut. Something to signal that you don't actually think of me as a slut for sleeping with you." You practically sobbed your eyes out as the feelings from last night that you were unable to explain finally expressed themselves out of you.

"but all I could think about was the way you called me those names and who is to say that you really did not mean it. God, I liked hearing it but you gave me no reason to think that I'm not a slut."

"y/n I had no clue." his eyes searched your face in a panicked rush for something that tried to forgive him. "I wish you had told me. I'm-... I'm so sorry" he did not know how to react so he followed you to try and hug you again but you did not want it. "Please, just... just, don't" you pushed him away again slightly, "look at me Hotch, I looked like someone beat me. And you think I would just be okay after all of that?" 

You looked around the room for a second and noticed the clock. You panicked and began to take your sweatshirt off to get changed because there was no way in hell you were going to be late. That's when Hotch saw it all. The handprint, the hickeys that raked all over your body, the bruises that formed on your breasts, and he gasped.

"Oh my god... I did that to you..." he said genuinely freaked out about what he had done. You started to forgive him, you could tell how bad he felt. "Y/n I'm so sorry, I... I can take care of this... I can..." He thought for a second, "did you even want-" you stopped him before he said something stupid and threw an accusation out.