What Happens Behind Closed Doors || Aaron Hotchner x Y/N

Chapter Twenty-Nine

Aaron's POV

When I woke up with her in my arms, all I could feel was happiness. For once, I really felt like she was mine. The way her warm body snuggled up to me so close was something I wish I could have forever. She was so peaceful as she slept and her deep breaths sang out. I tossed my arm around her pulling her closer to me as she hummed in her sleep in contention with the closeness.

As I watched her sleep she was just absolutely gorgeous. My mind flew back to last night, Everything was so perfect. She looked so gorgeous in her dress, and everything she does is just complete perfection, she is perfection. The way she stood in the rain for no apparent reason, how she held close to me on our walk, the gentle way she spoke.

There were so many things I wish I could have said to her last night. Y/n was such an enigma, but last night she finally let me behind all of the walls that she put up.

The day she joined the BAU, I knew I liked her from the moment I saw her, but I was so clueless. I didn't even know how to deal with the fact that I liked her, I was an asshole. I gave her the cold shoulder, I blocked her out. That was the only way I could push her away, it was against rules to fraternize with coworkers. I mean it still is, but I'm willing to risk it.

Something about that case with Reid, and the way she aimlessly flirted with him, bubbled a wave of new anger out of me. Her calls with him, the way she danced on him, It made me want her more. And the overwhelming fear that that cult would make her do something with him that I didn't even want to imagine practically killed me in jealousy.

But when she got hurt, and I carried her out of that building, I was so scared, and I took it out on Reid. I yelled at him harshly and I was just mad at him for letting y/n get hurt, but Reid knew. I'm pretty sure the whole team knew I was into her. She was the first woman I had feelings for since Haley, and I don't think I hid it well.

But I fucked it all up when I didn't hold back in my office, and then I fucked it all up again the first night I slept with her. I think back to the night she got picked up from my house, she left her car here and I'm not sure why. She left me a note that said she had to go, but I knew there was something behind it. Something more.

And when she called me on the phone, the night she was wasted, I panicked. She was spewing words that I couldn't understand. She told me a little bit about her parents, more specifically how they used to abuse her. But I knew she didn't want to tell me then, it clearly was a sensitive topic. So when she began to open up to me last night on the waterfront, I swear my heart skipped a beat.

I made so many mistakes, but now, it all doesn't even matter. Her shell that she so carefully built, she is finally letting me break it. I had so many questions I wanted to ask her but I just couldn't, I didn't want her to take back the inch that she finally gave me.

I wanted to know when all of her abuse started, I wanted to know why so much of her life was hidden from us, I wanted to know her, all of her, no matter what was inside.

And not just that, there were so many things I wanted to tell her. I wanted to tell her about Haley, I mean she probably already somewhat knew but she was not here when it happened. I wanted to tell her how she is not alone, and how my dad used to abuse me too. I don't ever want her to feel alone.

Just thinking about being with her as her hand rested snugly on my chest, made my heart swell again, and I just knew what it meant. I knew I liked her, but this, this feeling is more than just a like. I should have told her last night, but I just couldn't, it was too soon. I don't want her to run the second I finally have her. I'll just have to find the right time.

She was still in my arms when I looked down at her, but she was somewhat awake. She was groggy and kind of mumbling to herself. "Hey, handsome" I finally heard out of her as I felt the vibrations from her voice on my chest.