Abandoning Ally

Chapter Twenty Three

A/N -

Okay, what is this? I have updated twice this week. How crazy!!

Give the chapter a read and let me know what you think. 

Please note that this hasn't been edited. 

•••

Chapter Twenty Three: 

I stood motionless in the wind, my hair flying wildly and catching between my lips as my heart began to break. This past week had been nothing but a reminder of how much I wished I was someone else. I wish that I had a normal family. I wish I had been loved throughout my whole entire life. I wish someone would have just kept me.

I felt my legs give way, my knees crumbled and I fell to the sand. Yet, one small conversation with Kate has changed everything.

The ocean was crazy this afternoon. The waves danced vigorously with the sand in a violent rage. The water crashed onto the sand, the water spitting in all directions only then to calmly recede back.

I watched in awe. This felt like a visual representation of my life. I was the sand. The world was the ocean. It mocked me and made me realise how little control I had in the world.

The sun was setting and I knew that I would have to get up and go inside. Marie would be sitting patiently waiting for me. She would be giving me time to try and process. She would want to ask how I was feeling and what I thought about James. 

I didn't have it in me to go back and pretend. Pretend that I was okay, pretend that nothing was wrong. I moved and brought my knees up to my chest, placing my head on top of my knees. I wrapped my arms around my legs and just held myself, trying to keep myself together.

Time passed. 

The waves moved in a consistent dance. The sun changed directions, telling me I had been out here for a while. I stood, dusting the sand off from my clothes and the tears from my face. With a calm deep breath, I turned to walk back to the house.

•••

The house was quiet when I entered. The smell of fresh coffee from the kitchen drifted through the air, signaling that Kate and Marie were still in there. I made my way slowly allowing myself time to try and gather my thoughts into a neat pile. I wish it was just as easy as organising the books at work. That was easy, each title had an author that would go in a certain section. Each plot had a theme or a category that it could be placed in.

I could feel both Maire and Kate staring from their spots at the table, reading me as if I was a blurb on the back of a book, trying to figure out what I would do. How I would react.

What would be a normal way to react?

Do I throw my empty mug against the wall?

Do I scream and shout?

Do I just sit and cry? 

My eyes darted between them, my emotions, unraveling with every single thought. I could feel my heart rate increasing. 

He had no idea about me, does that make him a good person? 

He tried to find me, does that make him a good person?

Did he cheat on his partner? 

Does that make him a bad person?

Was he a good person? 

Am I like him?

Sensing my distress, Marie spoke softly breaking the silence and my internal dialogue. "Ah, my dear, yes, yes I believe this is all, what did you call it? A shit show?" She patted at the empty seat beside her beckoning me to join her.  Join her so she could comfort me. Her warm smile, encouraging and reassuring me.

I could tell she was just as affected by this as I was. I knew she had wanted me to have some sort of happy ending or closure with my biological parents. We had spoken about it briefly a couple of weeks ago.

My eyes lifted to hers, feeling a small smile tug at my lips at the ridiculousness of her saying 'shit'. A word not used in her vocabulary. I snorted at the thought of her saying 'shit' again and before I knew it, I laughed. Uncontrollably. Tears spilled at the corner of my eyes. Laughter turned into crying. 

I felt like a hurricane. 

A hurricane of emotions. 

I shook my head at myself in disappointment.

Marie placed her gentle hand on my shoulder and gave it a reassuring squeeze. She looked over at Kate, communicating silently with her eyes. Kate must have understood her unsaid words and bent down, reaching into her designer black bag that sat at her feet, and pulled out a clean, sealed envelope.

My crying subdued as the envelope was passed to me. In scruffy handwriting, it was addressed to' daughter'. My eyes widened and I felt myself standing up before my brain had registered. The high-pitch sound of the chair scraped backward, filling the quiet kitchen.

"What is this? I asked timidly, motioning to the envelope in my hand. I looked at them both, willing one of them to answer.

"This, this was addressed to you from your biological father." Kate took a deep breath. "Towards the end of his sickness, when he knew he had little time left, he wanted to write to you. His dying wish was to know that you existed and that you would know of him too." Kate paused as if she was trying to find the right words to speak. "He wanted to give you answers, as many as he could as he knew he wouldn't be able to answer your own questions."

My eyes dropped to the object in my hand. I took in the envelope once more. It felt heavy. Not heavy as in the weight of paper but heavy in the fact that finally after nearly eighteen years, I would finally have some answers and closure.

This has been something I have been wanting for most of my life.

"Thank you, Kate," I said softly.  "This is something that I need to do on my own." Marie and Kate both nodded in understanding. I turned around and headed for the back door. 

A/N

Thank you for reading. I truly hope you enjoyed it.

What do you think will be in the letter? 

What do you hope will be answered? 

When reading other people's work on Wattpad, I have loved being able to see who they think would portray their characters and the aesthetic board that goes with it. What they think their characters would look like in real life.

Below you will see who I think would be perfect actors for my characters of Abandoning Ally.

Ally Henderson:

Portrayed by Holland Roden

Please leave a comment and let me know what you think or a vote.

Lilyqueeen (a.k.a Paige).