Abandoning Ally

Chapter Twenty One

Not edited! 

The sound of a soft knock on the door pulled me from the book I had absorbed myself in. As the door opened I closed the book and turned to face Marie, already knowing it was her.

She had a grim smile on her face, I knew it was because she was trying to make the situation better. She hovered in the doorway, unsure how to approach me. I couldn't blame her, I wouldn't know how to approach me too.

"Cora is here," she said and motioned downstairs, "she said you guys had made plans?" She asked with uncertainty filling her voice.

I took a deep breath and sighed pushing my head back against the stack of pillows I was leaning up against. "Is it bad that I don't want to see her, Marie, because I know she will just ask questions. Questions I don't know or won't have the answers for."

"Not at all my dear, I think you need to make the choice that best fits you. She may be able to help you make some clarity out of all this mess?" She answered with a shrug.

I looked down at the bin beside my bed filled with used tissues. 

How do you find clarity in this shit hole of a life? 

Or feel so much pain for someone who had no idea I existed.

How do you tell someone that you are just the mistake that caused the heartbreak of so many?

I nodded softly. "I'll try it," I said quietly. "Tell her that I am just going to get changed and be down soon."

Marie nodded and a smile graced her lips, "good girl."

***

The light wooden gate to the beach glided open with ease. Standing on the top of the dune I looked out. The sand and waves came together in a perfect view, looking like a picture-perfect photo. The ocean was vacant, no swimmers or surfers within the bird's eye view. The beach was almost as empty except for a man walking his dog and a runner. I had a feeling the grey gloomy clouds in the distance were the reason for the desertedness.

Cora followed me silently, plopping down beside me on the sand dune, not uttering a single word. I could sense that she was waiting for me to say something or for me to give her a cue to start. I just didn't know how or where to start.

"You know, Noah and I had an argument over who was to come and see you, you know?" Cora said softly breaking the silence. I turned to look at her, her eyes showing her clear concern for me. "So, I only won due to the fact that I told him that it may be a girl talk that you needed to get through this....or was I wrong?" She added hesitantly, "because I can go get him... if you would like to talk to him?"

I shrugged my shoulders, not sure how to share the roller-coaster of thoughts that I had going through my head. "I honestly have no idea. I think what I need is something to get rid of the pain that I am feeling. I just don't know how to get through this pain. I need something to numb my brain." I said quietly, turning my head to look out at the sea watching the waves fight for dominance.

"How can I help fight the pain?" she asked.

"I-I honestly don't know," I replied, my voice choking on the last syllable. The tears that I had held back for hours came crashing through. Spilling from my eyes and covering my cheeks.

I felt her on me before she spoke."Oh, Ally!" She exclaimed softly covering me in her arms. "Talk to me. Help me understand what is going on in here." She said and tapped my forehead softly.