1 - Hypothetically...

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A/N: This chapter is a really long one. I'm sorry if it's too long but it's worth the read I promise :) I really like this chapter and think it sets up the beginning of the story well. I hope u like it :D

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Peter
Hey, hypothetically, what should I do if I have a 200 pound bad guy in an ally?
...unconscious...

?
Ummm
This might be a bad time for u,
but i don't know what ur talking abt
Or who you are.... you have the wrong number

Peter
Haha very funny Ned but can u answer this very real and totally not fake hypothetical question?

?
Well have u tried dragging him out of the ally?
Hypothetically speaking ofc 

Peter
Yes, that was the first thing I tried. I mean I can take the weight obvi,
But it's kind of shady to be seen dragging someone unconscious out of an ally way
...Hypothetically

?
Yeah I know what u mean
It brings a lot of unwanted attention
That's y I usually avoid doing it

Peter
Since when has that happened Ned

?
u do realise I'm not your friend

Peter
Are u sure  -_-

?
Yep
Pretty sure

Peter
Oh sorry, guess I got the number wrong...
U do know that, that was a hypothetical situation right?
Likethistotallydidn'thappenandit'snotrealbecuaseit'sallhypothetical...

?
Riiiiiight
Yeah I don't believe u
First, when someone says 'hypothetically' it's not hypothetical
Second, u sound guilty... and I don't even know how that is possible over text

Peter
First, I'm not lying
Second, I always sound guilty (it adds to my charm)

?
Uh huh...
So then, hypothetically, what r u gonna do abt the 200 pound bad guy in this non-existent alleyway

Peter
...idek

?
U said he was unconscious right?

Peter
Right

?
Then tie him up, call the police, and then run away from the crime
Since he's not awake he'll put up less of a fight

Peter
Smart, I'm gonna do that. Thx!
...just so u know, this is all hypothetical

?
Oh of course!
/s

Peter
Hey!
There's no need for sarcasm
I'm telling the truth

?
Sure...

~ 5 mins later ~

?
Have u done it yet

Peter
Done what

?
Taken my advice
Did u tie him up, call the police and run away?

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