we know nothing

1 - Toxic rain

Clara's POV

28 August

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The fairytales are basically cliches.

But in our toxic world, everything is false.

We do not distinguish reality from fog. We are steaming stars in the wind. Democracy is just a pretext. And all the wars that have been avoided actually exist. What's around is war - invisible, but real. Our souls are permanently hidden under the cloak of lies.

We are there.

Somewhere.

I am also a soul covered in a cloak of lies. But life is too short to inhale only oxygen. Only polluted oxygen. Only impurities.

Something. As the clouds in the sky dissipate, and reach elsewhere, and we no longer see them, so are we. We are invisible.

We are nobody.

I just want to know who I am. But I feel like I'm just a stranger. Or that my world is foreign. I know nothing. Blue skies are approaching. We are street children. Our wings have been cut off. I keep telling myself that.

I shouldn't feel caught up in someone else's story. That my story doesn't really exist. That it's all just a blind imagination. The sound of rain was beautiful. The wind was blowing through my hair.

I took off my wet hood.

I was looking down. It was pretty sad. I was taller than the world for the first time in my life.

I know nothing for sure, but the sight of the clouds makes me dream. Makes me go insane. 

I throw my wishes in the trash.

I throw my hopes in the same place. And I look down. Let's see how they melt in the air. Or how are rushing to reality.

I don't know what that was. I smiled and swayed as the wind blew. My nose was bleeding.

My feet hung up on the block.

From the tenth floor, the world looked tiny. I started to laugh. I looked back and forth, and down at the cars that people were driving, at the lights. Everything instantly seemed very nostalgic. No. Unclear. And I wanted to get rid of that burden that we all called thinking. It was too much.

We are butterflies that perish only after a day.

BUTTERFLIES.

Eleven letters.

We are the ones screaming behind the blocks. Children of the night. Or perhaps I'm the only child of the night.

I inhaled every trickle of water. I was alive. I lifted one leg, and lifted the other. I shook my head, shook everything left in me. The water, and everything that inspired me, ran to the center of the high platform.

I ran fast.

I had the shoe laces untied.

I rubbed my palms, it was getting cold. I took off my fancy ring to make a wish. I held it for a few seconds and rubbed it between my fingers, which remained warm. And I closed my eyes, for my desire was priceless. I thought for a few seconds what if I wasted myself. No one would miss me.

I was a weird child. A girl with no soul or personality. 

"So what?" I said. I clenched that damn ring hard. And it was cold. Like ice. I kissed the ring in the rain, I left it in the free palm to cover the water. I looked away. And I said my flattering wish. The part where I was looking was clear.

"I want everything to calm down." I whispered.

I threw the ring.

And the piece of metal was scattered in the air. It disappeared. I thought I'd miss that ring. And that whoever it reaches, that someone will be lucky.

And that someone will be calm. I began to cry and laugh at the same time, to no longer control that cruel madness. I was running in the rain. On a block. Watching the lights spininng with me.

"I do not care anymore. I have a life. All I care about is the reality I see."

I kept spinning, not knowing what my purpose was in that world. In the world of money. In the world of one society. Why is the perfect supposed to exist, when in fact it is two meters below the ground? 

Why do we pretend that when we fall asleep, problems disappear? Why is this world so wrong?

Under the many stars, nothing mattered.

All morality is in the future. This is our greatest gift. I wanted to hide. I wanted to scream. There are many unanswered questions. I stopped and shouted again that I was free. I wondered why no one had seen me before. The holy drops flowing from above cleansed me. I had freedom. I created my freedom, I wasted up to seventeen years.

Everything.

After I stopped in my madness, and in the euphoria that lingered on another side of me, I staggered to the edge of the block, looking out the bright windows. In each light, either yellow or white, or any other color.

I closed my eyes, and when I opened them I saw something else.

At one of the pale and frightened windows, a rather frightened face appears. He was a little boy, and he was holding a teddy bear in his arms.

The little boy opened the window, and threw away his teddy bear, just as I did with the ring.

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oh my gosh

I hope you like it,

Love ya<3