we know nothing

11 - Expired soda

Clara's POV

almost night

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I wasn't thinking about anything anymore. Because I didn't know what the hell to think about. Lana pulled my sleeve.

And she pulled me out of school. I didn't know what I was looking for in her world. Because I had my own world. I didn't know what I was looking for in her universe and in Justin's universe.

I was like an intruder there, but I couldn't ruin everything again.

I was destroying everything. My silence destroyed everything.

Why was it made of stone? Why was my soul made of stone?

I ran and gasped in the hallways of the school, and I was the first, because I was the fastest. And it was dark.

And I was confused. But my head wanted to disappear from my shoulders, as if it had never been there.

I was walking past the classrooms. And we were going down the stairs. It's like flying through thoughts. We were alone in school. And I wasn't panting when I got to the school door.

It was so weird.

I was weird.

Why I couldn't think normally.

I was crazy.

I was constantly wondering what was wrong with me. Why can't I think like everyone else.

I was stupid.

Stupid.

Six letters.

And I was walking and I wanted to run for the rest of my life to get rid of everyone and everything.

But I couldn't really get rid of anything.

I was caught up in someone else's world.

I got to the school door, and Justin and Lana were left behind, but eventually caught up with me.

And the three of us were by the blue metal doors. And they were breathing jerkily.

But I didn't.

Justin looked at Lana, and I immediately noticed how much chemistry was in between.

They were totally different.

And yet they were so alike.

I was happy for her.

But happiness is often the key to sadness.

It is just a step, a small step, very small, from happiness to sadness.

That's how we were designed to be, but I didn't know why.

They were looking at me.

Both.

Lana with her black eyes.

Justin with his blue eyes.

And they looked at each other again.

And I was confusing because I didn't think about myself in the third person, but I was. I was something like a expired soda behind the new sodas. I was sad.

I couldn't deny it. But I learned to fake it. It was easy to fake something, but so hard to endure that something.

Justin opened his mouth so he could speak, and I put my hands on the cold doorknob, but I couldn't feel anything.