we know nothing

2 - Wet socks and sneakers

Daniel's POV

28 August

________________________________________________________________________________

The rain was opening my lungs.

I always liked to walk around at that time.

I was feeling alone. But in some way I loved it. In some way I hated it.

There was nobody on the street. Almost nobody.

I was jumping, and the torn and red sneakers at the top were getting wet. I didn't want to buy others. All the cars splashed with water as they passed.

I loved how the world could live under such a gray blanket. How vast feelings spread over the crowd, and the crowd notices anything. It's questionable.

I have to let the rain pass, lightly. With all the pain figured in the clouds that fall over me. I pulled my pants down.

And I had a little way home. The blocks joined together, and the lights gradually went out.

I had a feeling of emptiness in my soul, but there was nothing I could do about it. I've been feeling it too often lately. In front of me was a lady carrying a very heavy bag. The raindrops could be heard in her umbrella.

The store next-door has closed. I could feel the little neighborhood closing too. Neighborhood number ten, where there were only ten-story blocks of flats. I was so confused that I didn't even know how to walk. My house was exactly after this neighborhood.

My legs were tangled. I didn't know what I was doing with my life. What if it wasn't my life?

The phone vibrated in my pocket several times, but I didn't pick it up. The lanterns flickered. I felt like I was just a failure. The days were so short. I felt them too short, flawless. But time is a storm in which we all get lost. Something invaluable, but misused. Miserable.

My phone vibrated again. And again.

I went under a roof, in front of a shop, and where there was still light, and a gentleman who slept in the chair where the cash register was.

I didn't notice. But the way his sitting position was very funny. Small drops fell from the false roof on the floor. It was getting a little warmer under that little roof.

I took my phone out of my pants pocket, and opened it, scared that it had gotten wet, or that it had broken. Its light was a little dazzling. Disturbing.

9:47 p.m.

The clock jumped in front of me, and a few messages from my mother, covering the blanket of gray lies, mixed together. I thought he was panicking again. That she reacts too much like a mother. Suffocating. I'm the doll she handled. She was the puppeteer. 

mom: I went to get you some orange juice, for tomorrow. You have football practice.

mom: Make sure you don't stay long.

mom: I left your key under the rug.

me: okay.

I hung up the phone, and put it back on. When I turned my head, the store behind me was closed. I lived in such a monotonous world.

There weren't many words to explain the days. Because they weren't going. I listened to my mother, my father, the teachers, and I had a boring life. Maybe I deserved it.

I felt lost.

But it was probably good, because it evokes an emotion to remember me. But I felt lost... in myself.

I didn't want to play football.

I wanted to be free.

I looked down at my ice-cold, wet feet.

I didn't know what I wanted. But I still hoped I could have hope. It's never too late to hope. I wanted to let the hope shape my future, not my suffering. I let everything lead me. We let too much come naturally.

But in the end, all I had was now.

It's my life. It's just mine.

I was walking among the tall blocks of flats where I lived. And I looked around, how everything was left behind. How everything dissipated like smoke. I had to forget my lesson, and leave only the mistakes to do their job. I pulled my hand through my curly hair. For a moment I felt like crying.

Non-sense. But at the same time, I couldn't believe I was alive. That I'm there.

I stepped into a huge puddle. And I stopped to tie my wet, dirty lace that was part of my dirty sneakers. I was stunned for a few seconds. I looked cross. The pond was dirty, and had some stones in it. And while I was tying my lace, my hands got wet, I clenched my fist hard. I could feel the pulsations moving through my veins.

Next to my slipper, not far from that puddle, was a ring. Which had probably fallen from the sky, because people didn't really leave rings on the ground. It was a small ring, and it had a three-line pattern on it. I dropped my fist softly. I looked at the ring and wiped it.

I put it in my pocket.

And even if it belonged to someone else, I was lucky to find it. And nothing can bother you more in this world than your own thoughts, which drive you crazy. I closed my eyes and imagined that ring was not just a ring. That it's a promise, for me and no one else.

"Hah, it's really cute." I mumbled.

I left, my mind in constant revolt. But at least I'm gone. With the circular metal in my palm.

________________________________________________________________________________

So?:))

What do you think?

btw, sorry for the grammatical errors.

Love ya<3