Unreturned Love

Chapter 6

That night, Kayline slept badly.

"What the hell do you mean?! You SOLD the house?! OUR house?! You had NO RIGHT to do that!" Sounds of breaking china. Kayline crouched in a corner, whimpered.

"I'll do whatever I want! You earn the money, but never once give me any! How else am I supposed to pay for my debts?!" Her father's voice roared in her head, sliced through her headache like a knife.

"You have the guts to ask me for money when you spend it all on gambling and booze!? And yo expect me to give it to you? Nuts, that's what you are! You- AHHHH!!" Kayline curled up even more tightly, shuddering when she heard the unmistakable sound of her farther throwing a chair at her mother. Her mother's shrieks, her father's shouting, and her own sobbing blended together in her young mind, and an intensified throbbing headache that she'd already had. "No, no, no... Please, no", she mumbled, barely aware that she'd spoke. Unable to help herself, she stumbled to her feet, and peered out cautiously. Her mother lay in a pool of blood, and her father was nowhere in sight. Kayline screamed.

"Noooo!" Kayline jerked up in bed, sweat streaming down her face and dripped unnoticed onto her shirt. Her breathing was ragged. and her eyes glassy, but she didn't care. Hurriedly, she jumped out of bed, walked jerkily to the tale and poured herself a glass of water, accidentally spilling half of it in the process. She picked up the glass between trembling hands, and lifted it shakily to her lips. And drank deeply. She had drunk more than seven cups before she felt herself steady, steady enough to walk back to the corner of the bed to sit down.

"It was just a nightmare", she murmured. An old one which used to haunt her nightly. But it had been years since she'd had it. It all came back to her again, the rush of fear, the sticky blood... Kayline shuddered. The hospitals had been quick to work on her mother, and told her that it was a miracle that she lived. But so what if she did? After she recovered, she wanted none of Kayline, wanted no reminder of the bitter life she had left behind. Wanted none of her daughter, her flesh and blood. Kay had never forgiven her mother for that. But then, what had her father done for her? Nothing as well. She wouldn't even be here if Uncle Jim hadn't felt sorry for her. She'd just be another child, unwanted in the orphanage. Unwanted. The word hurt, stirred something inside her that she thought she'd buried long ago. 

It was all because of Finn, she realized. He had brought it up, reminded her of it. Damn that guy.

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Two doors away, Leeane was having an equally bad night. The teacher she had a major crush on was madly in love with her best friend. Great, just great. She turned and burrowed her head into her pillow. Why, she demanded, why!? Kayline wasn't a model student like her, she flunked physics, needed remedial. So why would Finn like her? It make no sense, no sense at all. Hang it all, she was the one he should have liked. Then everything would be fine. But no, he had to fall in love with Kay instead. Kay, of all people. Kay was pretty, she admitted to herself. And Finn was cute. Really cute. Leean sighed, turned again. And realized she was jealous.

"Stop it, Leeane", she muttered to herself. "Damn it, why on earth are you jealous of your best friend?! And it's not like it'd ever work out..." For it couldn't. Kay wouldn't accept the mere notion of love, having been let down by it too many times. So why did Finn, stupid Finn, have to fall in love with Kay, Kay! Then she stopped, jerked herself up short. "Dam it, Leeane. Kay's your best friend. No way you're going to be jealous just because of a silly crush". She tossed around again.

But she couldn't help herself, couldn't restrain the pang she felt when flashed of Finn looking at Kay came into her mind. She had known, known from the instant she saw him giving Kay those looks. But Kay didn't know. She never had any experience in relationships. Leeane had several, and know what his looks had meant. Desire, lust, the need to take possession. They were all the same.

And now... She had to choose. Choose between her best friend and her crush. It wasn't that hard to choose when you put it that way, she mused. A friend was for life; a crush was temporary, then one day you'll look back and laugh at yourself for liking a grubby physics teacher that much. Maybe, just maybe. But... Was it something she could do to a friend? One whom she had treasured for years? One who she had learned to depend on?

You're an asshole, Leeane. Treating your best friend like that.

I know, I know, but I can't help it! It's not my fault...

Oh yeah? So now you're trying to push the blame eh? That was wrong of you, Leeane.

Leave me alone, you don't know how I feel.

Oh, I know how you feel alright. You want to have the pie and eat it, eh?

Nono... It isn't like that... Listen to me-

You shut up. People who treat their friend like that will be doomed to hell.

Kay...

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That night, Finn was yet again sleepless. He'd found out what had troubled Kayline these years, what had haunted her. And now understood why Leean had said it was impossible. And half of him wanted to agree that it was impossible, that he should just leave it alone, the other part of struggling to hold on to his love for her, telling him that nothing was impossible to overcome, if he truly loved her. But how could he do this to her? A girl battered by her parents, never understanding what love was. A part of him protect her from further hurt. Which part would he listen to?

He hadn't been safe from the cruelty of love either, he admitted to himself. But it wasn't during his childhood, wasn't during a time when his beliefs were still being formed. He had believed in fairy-tales. Had read them, felt what true love was. Or thought he did. He had never experience it, not yet. Sure, he had girlfriend's while he was still young. Yet after a particularly nasty break-up with his ex-girlfriend, he had decided to give relationships a break. Until now.

What was it about her that attracted him to her so much? It wasn't just her physical beauty, he was sure. He had trained himself not to do that, not to be simply taken in by one's physical appearance. He had enough experience in life to realize that oftentimes, those with an ugly exterior had a beautiful heart, if only you'd care to look under the surface for it. So what was it? Her character? Her bubbly  cheerfulness? Or simply her innocence? Maybe it was a combination of all.

Finn wasn't sure what he could do. He was older than her by several years. She was still young, like a flower in bloom. Still so innocent. Could he bear to foist himself off her? Could he possibly bear to pursue this relationship, and with the possibility of her being hurt even more? He didn't want her to be hurt. Love didn't make one want to do that. He wanted to treasure her, be with her,. see her cheerful face everyday. He wanted nothing more than that. But he was afraid. Afraid of what he might accidentally do to her.

What can I do? He mouthed silently into the dark, haled wishing that a genie would just appear and advise him.. But none dis, and the darkness gave no reply. What can I do... He thought, miserably now. Still, there was no reply. He would have to make the decision himself.

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Three different people, in three different locations, haunted by their own inner ghosts, caught up in a complicated triangle of love, and hate.