Unreturned Love

Chapter 14

"Ha-ha. Great joke, Mr Gerald, ha-ha". The sarcasm was so obviously present, practically dripping with it, that Finn winced.

This is what you get when you finally mean what you say, he thought glumly. "Kayline, what the hell must I do to prove it to you? I mean it, I really do. Look, l'm stupidly in love with you, alright? The least you could do was acknowledge it".

Kayline regarded him with big blue eyes, doubt showing in every narrowed line of her furrowed brows. "You're not.. Kidding? But.. It can't be true! Like I mean, in the first place, you're my teacher! In the second place, you're... You're so much older than me! I'm barely-"

"Kayline listen to me, please" Finn begged, flinging his dignity away, and putting a plea into his eyes. "I really do mean it. I know, I know. I'm not suitable for you. But, damn it all, it wasn't my idea to fall in love wit you! It just... Happened. Kayline" his voice softened, "This is going to sound stupidly cliche. But you're all I can think about day and night, and I swear, it's driving me nuts. The way you laugh when you're happy, contented, the way you half-close your eyes when you're day dreaming, the small things that you do, I'm always watching. Watching, but never once able to say it out loud. You think it's easy for me to watch you while you danced with that date of yours? I almost drunk myself insane out of jealousy!" In the heat of what he had been saying, Finn had unconsciously stood up, gesturing with his hands angrily.

"I think you did that, actually". Kayline muttered, mostly to herself.

But Finn hear it, and gave a bitter laugh. "Oh yeah. And what with alcohol removing your natural inhibitions, I... Did some things that I shouldn't have. Kayline, I shouldn't have touched you at all, and I'm really sorry for it. I... I was over-board, I admit. But seeing you dance, just moving to him with the music I got really heated up... And... Well. Things happened, which I'm really sorry for. I know sustaining a teacher-student relationship is absurd, and to think that you'll ever want me is even crazier. I'm- I'm sorry. For fantasizing like that. To think that you'll ever want me, a teacher much older than you". He laughed again, a sound totally devoid of humour. "Look, I... I better get going. I just wanted to say I'm sorry, and all these things started spilling out of me". Finn bowed his head, not meeting Kayline's eyes, and turned to leave.

"Mr Gerald- Wait". Kayline slowly swung her legs off her bed, and locked her eyes with his stunned ones. "You wanted to dance? Let's dance". Without skipping a beat, she strode across the cramped space easily, held one of his hands, and slid the other around his shoulder. Barely registering what he was doing, Finn placed a hand tentatively on her waist. Kayline began to sing softly, the lyrics too low to be heard, but was unmistakably a song which encompassed melancholy, sorrow, and love. The two of them held each other close, revolving around the little room.

When the song died on Kayline's lips, she gave a little sigh, and led Finn over to the bed, indicating him to sit down. She reached over, and flicked the bedside lamp on, illuminating the room with a soft glow, barely brighter than the moonlight.

"I guess I needed that to think awhile", Kayline said, leaning against the wall in a cross legged position, and glanced up, meeting Finn's eyes. "Don't get me wrong", she continued, "That wasn't any kind of promise. Nor was I leading you on. I just... Needed to think about stuff".

"Think about stuff", Finn echoed, still numb from the dance. It had been different from the one in the ballroom. There, she had been distant, almost aloof from him, but now, her presence was unmistakable. It felt good to have her full attention, knowing that she was thinking about him. Just him. Even if it was for awhile. His attention snapped back to the present when Kayline started to speak again.

"First... Much as you wouldn't believe me, I'm not suited for a... Relationship of any kind. No, wait, let me finish first" she held up her hand when Finn opened his mouth. "Thank you. You might have noticed that... Even in school, with schoolmates of my age, I've refused to have a boyfriend. It's not that I have anything against boys, it's just that..."