BLISS || THE OUTSIDERS IMAGINES

sodapop curtis | all a messy blur

the bar was raging at this time of night— one in the morning, when the alcoholics came to dance and speak to one another under fluorescent lights. almost everyone in the bar was wasted, or they had just arrived and were already damned close to it. there was no in between.

you weren't there to get drunk off of way-too-strong tasting liquor, nor were you there to pick up a random one-night stand kind of man.

you had someone to find.

you pushed past the doorway and made your way toward the bar, slowly but surely, as the crowd was larger than normal. buck must have discounted some drinks tonight, you thought, knowing that was the only reasonable explanation for the hordes of people that awaited for you to push past.

"excuse me, sorry, sorry," you kept repeating, attempting to slide past people without bothering them. it worked pretty well, people being too drunk to care— though some men whipped around and began yelling profanities such as, watch it, little bitch! or, hey, fuck you!

this didn't bother you, so you kept squeezing past people until you reached the bar. here, you saw buck speaking to drunken men and women while pouring drinks, trying his best to keep them happy and entertained while also being himself.

"hey, buck!" you greeted him, making your way behind the counter as you always would. he didn't mind this and would do anything for you— you were like a sister he never had.

he knew it was you before looking toward you. he knew your sweet voice anywhere and could depict it from a crowd of hundreds. "y/n," he welcomed you, looking over at you for a small second before turning back to the drink he was nearly finished making, "what's up, darlin'?"

you doubted asking him the question that desperately wanted to escape your lips, but nevertheless, it had blurted before you could stop yourself. "have you seen sodapop? he didn't come home tonight or last night— darry's worried about him, i'm worried about him."

buck looked toward you with a sympathetic glance and for a split second, you realized there was uncertainty within his gleaming blue eyes. "he was feedin' himself drinks, darlin'. i don't know if you wanna be around him right now."

you shook your head in response and replied, "i need to see him. i have to get him home and talk some sense into him. buck, you know i..." you couldn't finish your sentence, though you knew the boy you adored was still somewhere inside him. "if not for me, for ponyboy and darry."

buck understood you and nodded his head, giving your shoulder a gentle and friendly clap, handing you a pair of keys. "he's in one of the bedrooms, i'd imagine. good luck, y/n."

in one of the bedrooms?

you walked away hurriedly, though not looking forward to having to shove the crowd out of your way once again. you needed to get to him faster. each second that passed felt as though he was moving further and further out of your grasp. 

the bedrooms only lingered around the corner, though you didn't need an explanation for the noises you heard at the end of the hall. two voices, both male and female, making love to one another... but you knew that voice anywhere. 

you walked toward the door, fiddling quietly with the doorknob; but when you realized it was locked, you pulled out the set of keys. 

the pair didn't hear the door opening or your audible gasp over the sounds of their heartbeats aligning together. there you stood, watching the boy you loved beneath the sheets with another woman.

you leaned against the doorway, arms crossed over your chest while fighting back tears. "soda?" you called out. 

this finally got their attention; they scrambled to get away from each other, sodapop's stare aligning with yours as he laid beneath the sheets. the woman got up and threw on her clothes, though you paid no mind to her; only sodapop's lost blue eyes. 

alcohol made the room smell pungent and revolting. never had you smelt an alcoholic so strongly; this made your heart break. 

"y/n, what're you doing here?" he asked, getting out of the bed and approaching her with a confused look upon his face. 

your tears finally fell. "what do you think i'm doing here, soda? i love you! your family loves you, yet you're never around! you waste your life away with alcohol."

sodapop fell silent, simply looking down at the floor. the man was vulnerable and naked, too drunk to realize his woman had just witnessed him cheating. 

"am i not enough for you?" you whispered, biting your lip to contain your cries. 

the room fell silent. 

you chuckled, "right, don't answer that; we both know the answer. go home, sodapop. your family loves you." 

he nodded his head, outstretching his arms for a hug; but you pushed him away. "y/n?" he asked desperately as if calling out for help.  

"put your clothes on; we're going home." 

leaving him on his doorstep was one of the hardest moments of your existence; it felt as though a piece of your soul had been left behind, but that was exactly right. 

the drunken man took a double-take as you sped out of his driveway, squealing your tires in a blinded rage as you left. your cries echoed through the car as you were finally alone; something you never wanted to be. 

sodapop was your everything. he was your coffee that you couldn't be without in the mornings, your favourite television show you craved to get home to watch. without him you would be a dull fragment of yourself; but character growth could only stem from these experiences. 

this would all be a messy blur for the man when the morning comes, but he'll soon ask himself how he managed to lose you.