ANA - A Collection Of Anorexia Poems ⚠

Dream Of Skinny

You don't need to eat.

All it does is keep you fat.

Eating is what is keeping you,
At that stubborn weight of 126 pounds.

If you could just stop eating,
It would go down.

Nothing is a safe food.

All food is fattening.

Nothing is safe,
Not salad, not fruit,
Not even diet soda anymore.

Water is all that is safe.

I will seem like a dream,
Like a type of blessing,

Until the cold reality hits.

All those times your body ached,
All those times your fingers were shoved down your throat,
All those times that hunger was so painful,
That you couldn't sleep.

You couldn't tell I was killing you.

All those times you felt dangerously dizzy,
All those times you cried over calories,
All those times you told them,
That you weren't hungry.

You couldn't tell I was killing you.

When you cry for comfort,
It's not for a friend,
Or a family member.

It's for me.

Because only I can comfort you.

I know all your thoughts,
All your secrets,
All your sins.

I know what you want.

And you can have it all.

You'll always listen to me,
Because I'll give you hell,
If you refuse.

Every time you exercised instead of ate,
Every time you smiled at your loose jeans,
Every time you wrote down a calorie,
That wasn't you.

That was me controlling you.

Every time you lied to your friends,
Every time you had water for dinner,
Every time you were excited to run in gym class,
That wasn't you.

That was me controlling you.

You think of me as your best friend,
While I think of you as my puppet.

You think of me as a guide,
While I think of you as a corpse.

You're chasing after a dream,
That you will never be able to catch.

You're going to die trying,
And that is what I want.

I am going to kill you.

You're not the first,
And you won't be the last.

Whenever you step on the scale,
Whenever you read a calorie label,
Whenever you exercise all night,
I will be there.

Whenever you take a laxative,
Whenever you refill your water bottle,
Whenever you dream of skinny,
I will be there.

Whenever you lower your goal,
I will be there,
Controlling you.

Whenever you think it's not enough,
I will be there,
Killing you.