Darkest desires

m y r t l e

Draco POV
___________

It's been a week since our trip to France and our break up.

I haven't talked to her in a long time, it's getting hard to bare. Every time we meet each other on a corridor or in common room, I'm fighting with myself. I want to tell her how I feel, I want to assure her everything's fine, but I can't. I just clench my teeth and walk away from her.

Even if we meet in our dorms with nobody watching, I still can't know if the dark Lord won't know about us. It's the voices in her head I'm afraid about, and what concerns me the most is why she didn't tell me about it in the hospital. Was she just scared or did she do it on purpose? I don't know, but after all, she lied.

I can't explain myself how can the Dark Lord get into her head so easily and if so, why doesn't he use it on more people to make them go mad? Or maybe he does, but no one confessed it...

All I know is that it's hurting her and it has to stop. If she's gonna faint every day, people will have questions and that's what can't happen. She has to fight it, she has to learn occlumency.

As I'm sitting in the Transfiguration class with professor McGonagall, I glance at Chloé sitting in the back like me. She's not paying attention because she's drawing into one of her sketchbooks. She does is in every class when she's bored. One of her blonde strand of hair just fell into her eyes and she blew air to make it go away.

I like watching her, it's calming. She has that kind of energy that just makes you want to close your eyes and relax.

It's so unfair of anyone to want such a thing from her. To want her sabotage her mother country. She's so young, she shouldn't be having problems like that. I can't even imagine that it must be like for her. For someone with such a situation going on, she seems pretty calm today.

"...mr Malfoy?"

I quickly narrowed my shoulders and looked at professor McGonagall.

"Yes?"

"Answer my question." She's always impatient with me, she can't stand me.

Of course I haven't been listening, my mind is full of Chloé.

I quickly glanced at her and realized it wasn't such a good idea, because everyone is looking at me.

"I-I'm..." I mumbled.

Everything is just so overwhelming, the room got warm from all of sudden.

"Excuse me..." I said and stood up from my desk.

"Mr Malfoy!?"

McGonagall kept shouting at me, but I had to get out of that class.

I walked fast through the corridor, nervously loosening my tie because I felt like it's choking me.

Everyone wants something from me and it's just so much.

My parents want me to succeed in my first task, they're counting on me, because they know it can end bad for us if I fail. My mother doesn't deserve misery, I can't disappoint her. If I fail, she's going down with me and I can't let that happen.