Can Red Be My Favorite Color?

Escaping Is Always The Easy Part

(Heyoooo! Hope you're having a great day!! Also does no one else think that Aoi and Genya are cute asf!! It CAn'T JUST BE mE!! Anyways as always fuck Kaigaku, sorry for any spelling errors, Zenitsu is baby, Now lets get on to the fanfic!!!)

Zenitsu's POV

So maybe after 5 days of traveling in that ugly old basket I should've realized my attempts at escape were pointless.

But it never hurts to try...

Ducking under a branch I smack gracefully into another.

Escape Attempt Number 22 ,

Well...that is if I'm still counting correctly.

Which I am!!

With no shoes to wear my feet are growing cold and blistered from all my running. And without a chance to rest or conserve my energy to heal I'm becoming, really, fucking, hungry. My stomach rumbles loudly as the sting of the wind becomes slightly less tolerable.

I just have to focus on escape. That's the end goal.

Honestly though, my ideas are running pretty low. Every goddamn time I thought I had finally gotten away from the Gorilla Twins they would smack me down and drag me back to camp, just to be trapped in that cramped basket the rest of the day!

I had enough bruises from Nezuko's powerful kicks to last a lifetime!! And Tanjiro always tells me the most horrific ways he can kill me with a happy smile. THeiR SADiSTIC EvIL PeoPLE!! THeir sound WAS WROng!!! THEIR SO CRUELLLLlll!!!

I mean there was attempt number 5.

With Tanjiro and the ramen shop, It probably wasn't the best idea to 'make my escape' towards the food stalls and then stop and order at one, but I was hungry so Cut ME soME SLACk OKAy!!! As I was ordering Tanjiro, with his freakish mobility, stealthy came up behind me. I almost shit my pants when his warm hand suddenly gripped one of my shoulders and he softly rested his chin on the other!!! but then!! BUt then!! He whispered to me in extreme detail, about how he would hang my guts on clothes pins, dry them out and then feed them to his horrifying talking crows. I'm telling you MY SOUL LEft MY BodYY!! It sent chills down my spine!! HOW COULD HE SAY THAt SO HAPPILYY!!! I ended up forgetting my order and spent the rest of that day crying in the basket. 

Or there was attempt number 18

I had barely stepped foot out of my box before Nezuko had beat me back into it. She kept yelling at me too!!! Something about 'If it doesn't fit just shove it harder!' as she continued pushing me deeper into that itchy basket!! So cruel!! Doesn't she have any consideration!! I Need TO STretch!! I neeD to MOvvvEEE!! Or i'm serIOuSLy gOnna DIE!!!

But the worst all had to be.

Attempt number 13, 

We had just arrived at our resting spot. A ugly old hovel with disgusting mice and cockroaches everywhere!! And Tanjiro, that thick headed bastard!! Threw my basket on the ground! The complete and utter disrespect!! I ended up toppling over on to the filth covered floor. I could practically feel the bugs and germs climbing all over my body. The sound of horrid people, the sound of lies, fear, and unsettling screams echoed around in my head. That was sure as shit enough to scare the ever loving soul outta me. With that wonderful encouragement I took the opportunity to book it the fuck outta there. Quickly shrinking to the size of a five year old I began my escape speedily making to the busy part of town.

I am quite quick on my feet if I do say so myself. That's why it was probably the most successful plan. But that's when it happened. The boy with the fierce pink eyes and blade as red as blood, attacked shoving me to the ground with ease...

With the arise of a comotion people turned to see a seemingly teary eyed 5 year old getting choked out by a 17 year old boy.

Pulling me quicking into his chest his hand once again reach for his blade...

Dragging me hastily towards an alleyway and..

that's when I saw it...

More like felt it.

The gorilla...

 WAS A GIRLLLL!!! HOW COULD SHE DO THIS TO HERSELF!! WHY WOULD ANY GIRL PRESENT HERSELF LIKE THIS!! HOW DAREE SHE!! SHE COULD GET A BEAUTIFUL HUSBAND OR WIFE AND SHES WASTINNG ITT!! DUMB STUPID IDOIT!! STUPID STUPID STUPID!!

That's when I realized.... I was squished, my face was shoved into her chest!! How INDECEnt!! I FEEL LIKE A PERveRTT!! AHHHHH!!! I CAn'T BREATH!!! I'm GOnna DIE bEINg SUFFOcated by breAStss!! Which honestly wasn't the worst way to go but...

"RELEASE ME YOU CROSSDRESSING GORILLA!!!"

She stops for a second shoving me against the wall of a nearby store. I immediately grow to my full size in an attempt to shove her off. 

"What did you say to me demon..."

Squirming in her tight grasp I begin to feel faint. Maybe I should've taken the suffocated by tits route.

"No boy,"

She says with voice laced with venom.

"Say it, again."

"WHy Is a GirL DRessed LIke a BOY stranGLIng me against THE SIDE OF A FUCKING PHARMASODICAL STORE!!"

I begin to cry... "And you have such nice breasts to!! You're letting your best assets go to WAsTE!!"

She turns a bright reddish hue dropping me almost immediatly, "WHy can'T I BE a PRettY GIRL!! THey ALL havE Nice BReastS THick THIGHs and- oh hi TAnjiro, and smell so nice!! It must be so easy for you to get a husband or wif-"

A tall shadowy figure appears behind the girl as she sat motionless on the ground. 

"Tanjir-"

Next think I knew The bones in my nose were being broken as my head was slammed forcefully against the wall. 

Anyways after that incident I was forced to stay in the box the rest of the night and to apologize to the beautiful Nezuko. 

So long story short, don't call Nezuko a gorilla or even touch her for that matter...I swear I thought Tanjiro was going to kill me right then and there!!

But on the bright side due to my constant escape attempts were running kinda behind on arriving to the next destination. So since I was presented with the wonderful opportunity to escape while Nezuko and Tanjiro were fighting over how to read the map, which they were both reading wrong by the way. I slinked away, this time opting for the size of a 10 year old.

Anyways this is Escape Attempt Number 22 and so far it's going great!! 

Well, kinda. I mean getting away from those two was the easy part of the plan. How the hell am I going to get back home without food a map or any protection by sunrise!! I've been running through this heavily wooded area for about 20 minutes now without hearing the sound of any humans nearby. The majority of them would be sleeping. So How Am I goiNG TO get HELLPpp!!! As I continue running I hear something, something soft but rigid, kind but murderous, a sound nothing like any humans I've ever encountered before. Yet it's still so alive?

"Yushiro what did I say about hitting strangers."

That's the only warning I get before ramming into two people walking up the mountain.

Authors/Ryo's Note

( Originally I was gonna get straight into it but I do love my cliffhangers! Um I'm super fucking tired rn and if you're reading this rn you probably are to. Oh Um Zenitsu's box basket...thingy is like the makeshift one Tanjiro originally had for Nezuko in cannon!! Anyways get ready for Yushiro's violent tendencies Lady Tamayo's sincere care for others and Zenitsu getting emotionally tortured by children! Byeeee!!! See y'all soon!!