lunchclub oneshots and headcannons!

*YOLO (TED X SCHLATT X FEM READER)

(this was a request!) (I've never written a threesome before so this is going to be interesting 0_0) you and schlatt had been dating for a while now and wanted to spice things up, having both taken an interest in Ted you take a chance. (!SMUT! sub: ted)(switch/verse: y/n and schlatt) (this smut kinda gets right to the point LMAO) (C/W! DEGRADING) (oh yeah also, since I never see ANY x readers where the reader is plus sized, I decided to make the reader plus sized. because as a bigger person myself i feel  like we don't get enough representation in writing. so yeah :))))

TED'S POV:

I pour the oil into the pan, swirling the liquid around to coat the metal utensil. I had invited schlatt over for dinner, I know he would say yes. he never does anything on fridays. as I turn the heat up more and more on the stove the flames rise up higher and higher. I then gently lay the red meat with marbled fat into the pan, letting it cook for a bit. I can feel my phone buzz in my pocket, I reach my hand behind me to see who its from. 

it's from schlatt. I unlock my phone and look at the message, it says:

'would it be alright if y/n came too?'

I raise an eyebrow, schlatt never really brings his girlfriend. of course i'm not opposed to it, hell I think she's really nice and funny. and in all honesty very cute, they both are. it's just not something he usually does. but there's a first time for everything I guess. I reply to him:

'sure! the more the merrier!'

his reply is almost instant, he sends an 'alright!' with a heart

what the fuck?

since when did schlatt use emojis unironically? and since when did I give a shit?

I continue cooking the steaks in the pan with the hot oil, trying my very best not to burn myself. but the second I hear a knock at the door, the oil bubbles up and splashes onto my skin. I yelp but then try to cover my pain with a smile, opening the door to see schlatt. a tall, skinny, milky white boy, with bushy facial hair on each side of his face. he was wearing a button up with some floral type pattern on it, with skinny jeans and of course his signature timbs. I hate to admit it but god he looked good, he looked good in everything. y/n is a shorter chubbier girl, her outfit accentuated her curves perfectly, her skin was a dark brown and her hair was frizzy and pink. dyed of course, she pulls me into a tight hug. her presence was calming, and in all honesty comforting. 

"whats up doll!" she exclaimed, her breasts pressed against my chest. fuck  

SCHLATTS POV:

y/n pulls ted into a tight hug and greets him, I place a hand on his shoulder "hey gu-ys!" he says a bit more nervous than usual. I knew he had a little crush on y/n, and honestly who doesn't she's hot as fuck! But so is Ted, y/n and I are in an open relationship. meaning we both just kinda fuck who we want with permission from the other, so we both kinda made a bet with each other. whoever 'starts' any sexual actions with ted doesn't have to do laundry for a month. with consent of course. 

"uh come in! the steaks are done and i'm all ready!"  ted says with his signature smile. he almost has a smile like a cat. its cute. we walk in and y/n almost immediately takes action. "oh my god hun! your fingers are bleeding! wheres the bathroom let me help..."  she winks at me, i grit my teeth. and sit down, DAMNIT! 

Y/N'S POV:

i find a bathroom and close the door behind Ted and I. "hey it's okay I ca-" I take his fingers and put them into my mouth, sucking the blood off. he looks down at me wide eyed "uhaha? wh-what was that??" he asks nervously, i slowly back him into a wall and kiss him. he immediately kisses back and thinks to himself for a moment and pushes me away "y/n w-we can't schlatt-"

schlatt opens the door at that second, I can see the bulge in his pants already "already hard you whore?" you hiss at him he smirks at you and bites his lip. he walks over to ted and kisses him,  ted kisses back but lets go again. "w-what?" he asks extremely confused. you sigh "to put it bluntly we both wanna fuck you. and that's what we're gonna do. if you're okay with that?" you ask slowly walking over to schlatt and grabbing his bulge, he groans. Ted stares at both of you then nods. you smile, as you lower down to your knees infront of the two men schlatt kisses Ted's neck Ted moans. this is gonna be fun.

TED'S POV:

schlatt kisses my neck, his hands starting to wander my body. holy shit this is actually happening, y/n starts to trace her fingers over my bulge my cock throbs inside of my pants. schlatt moves his lips back to mine. y/n pulls down my pants and boxers, I moan into schlatt's mouth I was so focused on what was happening to me and didn't even notice schlatt's fingers inching closer to my ass, he gropes my cheek and I whimper. y/n licks the head of my cock, she does it teasingly slow looking up at me "fuck..." I groan out, y/n starts to take my full length into her mouth. her other hand moves to schlatt's bulge palming him through his pants, he whimpers loudly. I honestly couldn't tell if the man is a top or a bottom, he kisses me like a dom but whimpers her name like a sub.. a switch maybe?

"baby please c-come on..." he moans desperately, y/n takes her mouth off my cock. I whine at the loss of contact. she stands up and grabs both me and schlatt and drags us to my bedroom. well I know one thing for sure. she is  a dom.

SCHLATT'S POV:

god I love it when she gets like this, she pushes ted onto his bed and signals for me to come forward. "take your pants off baby." she demands, politely almost. I do as she says, obviously she is the dom for tonight. she giggles, she is so adorable. "good boy.. i'll be right back.. don't have too much fun without me.."

she walks out of the room and I smirk at Ted. he looks at me with wide eyes. 

"I know you're not a virgin ted but,... have you ever done anything with a man?" I ask curiously. he shakes his head. "I haven't really done much with um..  a- ah! ah~" he turns quiet when i place my mouth on the tip of his cock. "s-schlatt! I didn't think you w-would~ ah~" he moans loudly, man is he hot. god I don't know if I can take much more of this. 

Y/N'S POV:

going out to my car I can hear ted moan, jesus christ it's like a waterfall down there. I knew I would need this, schlatt tried to tell me that Ted was a dom. hell no.

I grab the strap-on from my purse. I also need to punish my baby boy as well.

with a devilish grin I waltz back into the house, slipping into the strap-on in the bathroom so that I am only in my lace bra. The strap on is double sided of course, I need to get some action too! from the bathroom that I am changing in I can already hear clapping.  Ted is practically screaming, damn they're quick! I open the door to Ted's room, schlatt is pounding the shit out of Ted. I come up behind him and slap his ass. placing my mouth by his ear he moans. "come on sweetheart.. did you really think I wasn't gonna fuck the shit out of you too?" I whisper into his ear, he groans loudly at my words.

I slowly slip the strap-on in, all three of us moan in unison. I place my hand on schlatt's neck, squeezing the sides very lightly "you okay?" I breathe into his ear. "yes babe... just..please fuck me.."  He moans quietly. I kiss the back of his neck and start thrusting into him, ted is basically drooling at this point. I go faster and faster to the point where they are both just a drooling fucked senseless mess. schlatt and Ted keep moaning so cutely, I start to near my edge. I can tell they are too

"AH AH!~ SCH-SCHLATT- Y/N I- I'M GONNA! CUM!" He whimpers out loudly, schlatt goes as fast as he possibly can. as do I, we all cum at the same time the white liquid spewing everywhere.

schlatt colapses ontop of Ted, holding him close to his body. 

ted exhales once more 

"yolo?" schlatt laughs at Ted's comment "yolo."