From when it starts singing
"..." No words. Completely silent. Staring at the floor.
When did things start going so downhill?
Did he let a voice take advantage of him?
Yes, yes he did, and now he can't take advantage of it.
He's completely defenseless against it.
"..." Still. Silent.
"No..." He couldn't believe he was like this. What had happened to him this week? He shouldn't be like that. Why was this voice telling him what to do? And why was he listening?
But he couldn't stop listening. He felt so terrible. Like, he felt bad sometimes, being part of the sunshine twins and things and feeling the pressure to keep smiling through the pain.
He felt bad before, staying up late but with no avail, always thinking it just wasn't good enough what he produced.
He felt bad because of comments said about him.
He felt bad because he hid behind a self-confident mask that meant nothing to him.
No matter how much he said he was handsome on camera he internally sighed.
He was just saying it.
It wasn't right.
Bang Chan was more handsome
Minho was more handsome
Changbin was more handsome
Hyunjin was more handsome
Felix was more handsome
Seungmin was more handsome
Jeongin was more handsome
Any idol in the K-pop industry was.
He felt like, maybe he was forgotten.
He was selfish, of course he wasn't... Right?
Bang Chan well known for his leader skills and other talents
Changbin well known for his rapping skills and other talents
Minho well known for his dancing skills and other talents
Hyunjin was also well known for his dancing skills as well as other skills he is extremely good at, he can rap too!
That's where the line was drawn for the Hyung line. (A/n I know Hyunjin is usually said to be in the Maknae line but for that sake of this story, leave me be 😭)
Then the Maknae line
Felix was well known for his deep voice and duality as well as his low rap parts in songs.
Seungmin was well known for his fantastic vocal colour and other talents
And Jeongin was well known for being the cute Maknae everyone loved as well as his good vocals.
Where was he?
Stray kids wouldn't be any different without him... Right?
Of course not!
They already have a leader and producer
A dancer
A song writer
A rapper
A nice person that sets a great mood and rapper and dancer
A vocalist
A Maknae and Vocalist
Why could stray kids do any different when he wasn't in the group.
Seven seemed like a more appealing number than eight. (I'm so sorry Ateez)
He absentmindedly threw Something against the wall, frustrated at his thoughts but they weren't leaving him.
It shattered.
It was a glass he had the other night for water.
He didn't even flinch at the noise.
Of course, the other members, however did.
The door flew open
Jisung was too lost in thought to realise. Even the worried shout that left the bystander's mouth couldn't make it's way to process itself in Jisung's brain.
It soon did after the voice continued
"Jisung!?"
"Huh? Oh what? Oh-"
"Yeah, what happened?"
"It must've fell, heh" Jisung replied sheepishly "sorry, I'll pick it up"
He picked it up, and went back to the bathroom, one shard in hand
He was distracted by his thoughts again, he didn't realise he started to obey what the voice had told him to do
Again, cut again
Slice
AGAIN!
"......................."
Again
"I can't, they'll notice"
Since when did they care? You got away with it the first time you cut.
"They still care... Stop telling me otherwise"
Of course they don't, you're lying to yourself
"Quite like you're lying to me..?"
I'm not lying
"I'm not letting you bring me down like this, you made me cut twice! This is time, but the first time, Chan cared! He cared so much he even got out of bed when he was so tired to help me! You're lying to me! So! I have one question!! Why me!? Why choose me to suffer?"
I didn't choose you
Jisung put the shard down
"Then why can't you just get out of my head and leave"
You wont let me leave, I mean, you need someone to remind you everyday on how untalented, ugly, fat and disgusting you are, am I right?
"I never asked for you to be here and I would happily let you leave"
You'd be lonely
"You're the one making me lonely! You're the one making me isolate in my room"
Because you're not worth anyone's time, get your phone
Without bothering to bandage up any new cuts he got his phone and turned it on.
Look on twitter and see all the hate comments
"Everyone gets hate comments, sadly that can't be stop-"
The difference is, you deserve it, others don't, no-one but you deserves such hate, read the damn comments and see all the people that will change your mind.
He read them, possibly sat there for hours, reading the words through his head over and over, he was letting a voice control him and it was taking a massive toll on his mental health.
When will this stop?
